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Array
(
[sid] => 37960
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Father
[time] => 2004-03-09 12:43:48
[hometext] => I wrote this late last night right after I got a letter in my e-mail from someone.
[bodytext] => Dear Father, Can you please answer me why did you send this person to me. Why did they have to want to kill themselves. I never wanted to be able to understand all these people suicidal thoughts. It just happened. Why can't for one day I let go of what I'm holding onto inside and let it out. I never wanted to be the way that I am. I wish that I could be normal for one day. I know that I haven’t been a very good Christian at all but I have really tried to talk to this person and it doesn’t seem like I’m getting through to them at all. Why did you have to choose me to handle a person like this? I wish just for once in my last people will be able to help me and not want to send me to a mental unit just because I’m depressed. I have a friend and I know that you are watching over her right now and I want her to crying cutting herself. I don’t want to lost another person that I really care about. Now I know that at a point in my life I have everything to lose if I lose my faith in you and I really don’t want to lose my faith in you at all. You know what sometimes when I’m alone by myself I think why am I really here why did you want to put me on a planet where I would just end up hating my life for betraying you. I never wanted to betray you in every way that was possible. I can’t believe that someone like me would be put on this earth just to live a life with a family that doesn’t love me at all. I never really understood why people would treat me the way that they did. I just thought hey what’s wrong with me I shouldn’t be thinking like this. And then yesterday you send me a person who wants to kill themselves for the same reason that I did. I never really understood what was really going on in my life and I was always skipping school you know that because you can see everything that I do. The one thing that I really miss about being able to have someone there for me when I was really could talk to them and they would understand. Please father will you please send me some guidance from above just like it says in the song. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 499 [topic] => 11 [informant] => lildrama04 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ChristianPoetry )
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