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Array ( [sid] => 37564 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The Cent of a Woman [time] => 2004-03-06 09:29:50 [hometext] => I'm giving up [bodytext] => A tachy's job I can't abide,
A pure and simple suicide,
Another question lacking sense,
Don't pen me in with cactus fence.

I finally got another job,
Delivering milk in county Cobb,
A lady said to leave cream cheese,
Never did she say her 'please'.

Then and there, I quit that stint,
Sooner would I gather lint,
Than take abuse from Sally Jo,
Mabel, Mary, or little Bo.

I got a job with Circuit City,
Until along came some old biddy,
I lost my job that very day
because of something she did say.

Wanted she a flat-screen tele,
Gave to me a pain in belly,
Had to pick a proper color,
Had me crazy, such a muller.

"Please, dear salesman, you decide,
A color that I can't deride,
Please, you make it mauve or puce
that will not stain with apple juice."

I gave up, I quit, I'm thru,
This may seem O. K. with you,
Maybe this you would not mind,
But you see, I'm color blind.

As I explained to some sweet lass,
I need a double with some class,
This world is far too much for me,
I will explain my malady.

I want no sass, I'm up for grabs,
I'm tired of ladies giving jabs,
I really think I'm up for bids,
I'm good at taking care of kids.

So if I fill your heart's desire,
If you're feeling hot as fire,
Write to me at RFD,
You'll have me moving in with thee. [comments] => 7 [counter] => 166 [topic] => 7 [informant] => norm [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )

The Cent of a Woman

Contributed by norm on Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 09:29:50 AM in AEST
Topic: HumorPoetry

A tachy's job I can't abide,
A pure and simple suicide,
Another question lacking sense,
Don't pen me in with cactus fence.

I finally got another job,
Delivering milk in county Cobb,
A lady said to leave cream cheese,
Never did she say her 'please'.

Then and there, I quit that stint,
Sooner would I gather lint,
Than take abuse from Sally Jo,
Mabel, Mary, or little Bo.

I got a job with Circuit City,
Until along came some old biddy,
I lost my job that very day
because of something she did say.

Wanted she a flat-screen tele,
Gave to me a pain in belly,
Had to pick a proper color,
Had me crazy, such a muller.

"Please, dear salesman, you decide,
A color that I can't deride,
Please, you make it mauve or puce
that will not stain with apple juice."

I gave up, I quit, I'm thru,
This may seem O. K. with you,
Maybe this you would not mind,
But you see, I'm color blind.

As I explained to some sweet lass,
I need a double with some class,
This world is far too much for me,
I will explain my malady.

I want no sass, I'm up for grabs,
I'm tired of ladies giving jabs,
I really think I'm up for bids,
I'm good at taking care of kids.

So if I fill your heart's desire,
If you're feeling hot as fire,
Write to me at RFD,
You'll have me moving in with thee.

Copyright © norm ... [ 2004-03-06 09:29:50]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Cent of a Woman (User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 09:35:35 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

From your words
I'll never flee
each day you make me
Tee, hee, hee
Love it!
Stitch

Re: The Cent of a Woman (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 10:42:25 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

lol. yet another amusing yarn, norm. I did burst out with laughter @ "I'm color blind.", not because you may well BE afflicted, but because you made it into a rather sharp punchline, obviously.
Good stuff.

Re: The Cent of a Woman (User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 11:29:42 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Norm , your whit is a thing to be envied.
I can count on you always for a smile!

Very well done
Larry

Re: The Cent of a Woman (User Rating: 1 )
by Jessica_Saini on Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 12:47:20 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Great poem. Nice job with the rhyme scheme. It's hard to use a rhyme scheme throughout a poem without making it sound incredibly corny. I also enjoyed the humour and the dialect you were using:) the dialect definately gave it a certain character:)
~Jessica

Re: The Cent of a Woman (User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 02:43:05 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

You always get me to laughing with your unique style of poetry writing. You are a huge ray of sunshine here! You're on a roll with these women poems, I want more! Kie

Re: The Cent of a Woman (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Saturday, 6th March 2004 @ 11:59:38 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

what a wonderful writer you are norm, as always you have flawless style, class and grace, ending is very sweet, thank you for yet another big grin:) hugs n' love nessa

Re: The Cent of a Woman (User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on Tuesday, 9th March 2004 @ 01:54:39 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Poor Norm.....now you're at RFD...lots of fires
But you're young and lots of fun, never tires!
Nice offer there you jobless man, I hope
this doesn't find you out on the street....
I can't take you in, but stop by, we having plenty to eat!
consue
Great Poem..........very cultured, done to specs
not like some that are total wrecks!
like mine! teehee

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