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Array
(
[sid] => 36435
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => SUPPORT HOSE ARE KILLERS
[time] => 2004-02-26 13:36:14
[hometext] => Remember this poem forever. Support hose must be bought three sizes bigger, if alive you want to stay!
[bodytext] =>  Sometimes in a woman's lfe, A Dr. prescribes support, alleviating strife. Mine said, "Support Hose for you Connie Your feet are swelling grossly!" Had no idea what would come of this? Bought very expensive stretch hose, non-swelling bliss? Had to be measured, ankle, calf, thigh. Best buy three pair, stock good supply. What a nightmare, if I'd only known My head, I'd rather be hit with a hailstone! My critters watch me putting on hose, signal.... I'm going to leave them sometime today! They get all nervous, and cry, then whine My big toe won't fit in these hose of mine! I stretch, fetch, going for the homestretch. I pull, handful, push-pull, handful, pull, wretch! Sweating now, over aggravated exasperation! Circling Critters, moaning, me stretching with passion! Like a bootstrap, trying to jump into the toe.... Steady as you go, pulling, twisting my elbow! Painful cries emit from my now hollow chest! I'm depressed, have to stop and rest.... I have to wear these things or a blood clot get! Blood clot threat? I'm having a heart attack fret! My Critters go for help, they're only hope for me. Montie appears, and laughs as hard as can be! "You think this is so funny, my toe won't fit?" He did get my toe in, he gets some credit! Now for the heel, you've got to be kidding? Hemming, hawing, heaving, hauling, hanging... So tight around my ankle...no blood can pass! Now my toe has turned purple, I'm ailing, I gasp! Struggling quandary, determination drained. Slowly, deliberately, stretch to thigh maintained. I'm not doing the other leg, as I thought... One leg is covered, only half of a blood clot! Created by Cheri Cam LeBren February 26, 2004 "Stretching Smiles" "Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.. It's what sunflowers do!" Helen Keller [comments] => 10 [counter] => 276 [topic] => 7 [informant] => lovingcritters [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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