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Array ( [sid] => 36025 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => My hearts fire [time] => 2004-02-23 19:11:57 [hometext] => i desided to try my hand at a true love poem. Somthing that i felt. I request any comment be it good or bad. It's the only way i'll get better. [bodytext] => Whose eye's now do grace my sight
That burn with the sun and all that is light
What pearl is this that I behold
And find it's shine sweeter than gold

What graceful glide does she yield
That dims the beauty of a golden field
With lips sweeter than the morning dew
This sweet bliss know to so few

Her radiant hair the very suns shine
O sweet deity I hold divine
That holds my heart that is no longer my own
These words I speak though I’m not alone

Hold me close my sweet dear
I give myself without fear
Hold my O Venus goddess of love
So sweet and gentle as a new born dove
[comments] => 1 [counter] => 182 [topic] => 2 [informant] => Shadow [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 7 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )

My hearts fire

Contributed by Shadow on Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 07:11:57 PM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

Whose eye's now do grace my sight
That burn with the sun and all that is light
What pearl is this that I behold
And find it's shine sweeter than gold

What graceful glide does she yield
That dims the beauty of a golden field
With lips sweeter than the morning dew
This sweet bliss know to so few

Her radiant hair the very suns shine
O sweet deity I hold divine
That holds my heart that is no longer my own
These words I speak though I’m not alone

Hold me close my sweet dear
I give myself without fear
Hold my O Venus goddess of love
So sweet and gentle as a new born dove

Copyright Â© Shadow ... [ 2004-02-23 19:11:57]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: My hearts fire (User Rating: 1 )
by twinkletoes on Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 09:08:10 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

A terrific read. I am sure the person who you may give it to will love it. If you go and have a read of Dreamweavers poetry, who I consider one of the best on the site you will see how in most cases her poetry reads smoothly. Although your poem reads smooth mostly, it still has a couple of very small bumps. In my case that happens because I dont read my work aloud, or bad editing (not editing) it helps to read aloud and it comes to you. For a person who has written for a year you are going great guns, hope you do well. Keep up the great work I will be watching you develop I hope.

Twinkletoes!

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