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Array ( [sid] => 35850 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => untitled [time] => 2004-02-22 03:37:27 [hometext] => this ones really old..but still need a title for it. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! [bodytext] => As darkness drapes across the land
When you feel death close at hand
How much longer must you wait
Before you reach its gripping fate
The wind of rest pinches your face
As you’re entranced by it's violent grace
Flashing right before your eyes
Life's happiness is in disguise
But now its coming to an end
You know what lies around the bend
There’s nothing else that you can do
I hope you did all you needed to
Now all that we can do is pray
And gaze upon you as you lay
Look into your eyes of fright
Staring blindly into the night
Close the doors, sheet over head
They nailed your soul to this bed. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 244 [topic] => 13 [informant] => crimsondream [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => ukrainian [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

untitled

Contributed by crimsondream on Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 03:37:27 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

As darkness drapes across the land
When you feel death close at hand
How much longer must you wait
Before you reach its gripping fate
The wind of rest pinches your face
As you’re entranced by it's violent grace
Flashing right before your eyes
Life's happiness is in disguise
But now its coming to an end
You know what lies around the bend
There’s nothing else that you can do
I hope you did all you needed to
Now all that we can do is pray
And gaze upon you as you lay
Look into your eyes of fright
Staring blindly into the night
Close the doors, sheet over head
They nailed your soul to this bed.

Copyright Â© crimsondream ... [ 2004-02-22 03:37:27]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 03:44:22 AM AEST
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The Last Siesta.

This is an amazing poem. I've never heard of such a compelling, original line. Almost metaphysical in your paradoxes, and definitely profound in meaning.

Impressively done.

"Ephemeral dreams and perpetual ire; Melodious lies from Eternity's Lyre"
~The Palatine Poet

Re: untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 03:47:22 AM AEST
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a good title would be: enevitabe
sorry if i spelled that wrong....i can't spell for anything....i just posted a poem kinda similar

Re: untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by Quilted_rag_doll on Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 03:02:38 PM AEST
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when i read it, i could feel a supense building. An excitment, as of what is to come. The 'gripping fate' that eventually nails you to the bed. A sense of death hangs over it, but its very intresting. good job, its nice.

Re: untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 08:10:04 PM AEST
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Ummm, the title "Skulled Moth" comes to mind. Don't know if this helps.
Stitch

Re: untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 24th February 2004 @ 09:34:12 AM AEST
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I couldn't come up with a title, but I can come up some praise. This is another vivid, imaginative (un)title, full of melancholic, morbid grace.

Re: untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on Friday, 27th February 2004 @ 05:12:13 PM AEST
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Well written! Keep writing.
Take care.
David

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