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Array
(
[sid] => 35843
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => a RUSTY razor blade
[time] => 2004-02-22 02:29:52
[hometext] => one of my hardest dayz
[bodytext] => So tired so relentless so much agony to rely on so much lost.... To tired to regain what?s not there, All I have left are pills to take my dreams and fu-fill my needs. All the bad deeds that ive done are finally catching up to me, No time to run no strength to yell no shoulder to really rely on or cry on, Pillow always wet cuz of the tears that ive shed, Every rain drop is a tear that burns my skin as it?s born. Every word seems so wrong every touch feels like a sin. Being me is nothing to be proud of. Im guilty of so many things, Im tired of fighting what?s not there n pushing what?s always been there for me. No one knows my agony or why I cry, Yet once I let em in they tear me like a sheet of paper waiting to be recycled and re-utilized, Waiting for the one to make me stop hurting and looking for the better tomorrow Waiting for the one to make me laugh....... I guess there?s no such thing as real fear...im not scared I just doubt what I feel Run from my problems like a coward but I have nothing to regret and nothing to lose...... IF I die tomorrow why not die today? [comments] => 6 [counter] => 287 [topic] => 61 [informant] => oneteartofellpain [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 23 [ratings] => 5 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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