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Array
(
[sid] => 3564
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => LOOK AT ME!
[time] => 2002-09-09 06:36:23
[hometext] => This poem was written as a poem about someone who has died and how it would feel to lose a loved one to death... actually have all sorts of interpretations... lets see what others think.
[bodytext] => It took a long time to not watch
the clock and count the number of times the small arrow goes around and around with anticipation for the six o'clock news and the film at eleven; It was even harder to say that it doesn't make my day go darker when the mailman (or is it mailperson) brings an advertisement from Pizza Hut instead of an envelope with smudges and your crabbed penmanship, and a letter of how you miss the way I always rubbed your back and shoulders, helping you sleep, your head against the softness of my breasts; and the phone ringing and ringing when we were excited, and touching and afterwards eating in bed; I stopped doing that because bad habits are hard to break and I'm much better now at sleeping alone with the doors locked and the lights on. My mind has not let go of the drink on the table and the chair is empty when I ran screaming your name; neighbors looking, pointing fingers and chatting over fences; 'my but she took it hard', their thoughts shout out at me- and I did not throw out your old socks, longing for the time when they covered your feet and you'd complain how everything was too small; the doctor said in twenty letter hyphenated words that translated in my heart to missing you; a you that liked pancakes and bacon for breakfast, sometimes scrambled eggs in the evening; a you that made me tremble with frustration and gave a new meaning to me, running to the window staring at the car- a dark blue sedan- a tear springs up in my eye to cool this fever that burns within; a life that isn't; the road that turns out of sight into eternity with you behind the whiel; you chose the door that opens leaving me in cold winds that change; reality is sharp and cuts deep. But look at me just one more time, we have a moment in reality. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 251 [topic] => 39 [informant] => sunflowerstar [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )
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