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Visionary
Contributed by
forever_lonely
on
Tuesday, 17th February 2004 @ 07:42:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
ChristianPoetry
|
Im settled now in eternal slumber
Ive taken chances, my final number
Weve lived our lives and im to blame
Always burning in internal flame
The night sky burns with twinkling crystals
You face so drained at an echoing pistol
Watching me fall your screams so hollow
Shadows swarm and darkness swallows
Upon the ground my fate is doomed
My soul prepares to be consumed
The light fading, your voice so calm
I cry so lost, afraid of harm
A gentle hand surrounded by light
Removes the shadows, with glorious might
He guides me back, this times not mine
'Dont worry my son for your be fine'
My eyes now opened, my wound was small
'Was a knock to the head that made you fall'
My mind preplexed, it was just a collision
So if not death, then maybe a vision?
Copyright ©
forever_lonely
... [
2004-02-17 19:42:23] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Visionary
(User Rating: 1 ) by Remy on
Tuesday, 17th February 2004 @ 07:51:30 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i would take that as some BAD sunday night pizza more than a vision, but i might be wrong... i like this one!
~Remy~ |
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Re: Visionary
(User Rating: 1 ) by Ilhar on
Tuesday, 17th February 2004 @ 07:51:59 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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well written interesting write
Shari |
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Re: Visionary
(User Rating: 1 ) by blueheart on
Tuesday, 17th February 2004 @ 10:57:12 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Great write Luke ,it touched me deeply.
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Re: Visionary
(User Rating: 1 ) by bobotheclown on
Sunday, 22nd February 2004 @ 11:03:11 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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ooooh I liked the darkness in this. It was very real and well put together. I thought the last 2 stanzas to be a bit hokey, but the rest was awesome.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Visionary
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Monday, 23rd February 2004 @ 07:13:08 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow that was awesome! freakin good write. loved it.
Arden |
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Re: Visionary
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 28th March 2004 @ 03:28:45 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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oh! luke! this is brilliant, i was not expecting your ending and i love it!! the whole poem is simply wonderful!! your talent shines:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->- |
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