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Array
(
[sid] => 34977
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Why?
[time] => 2004-02-14 14:07:45
[hometext] => this was a quick write,just a beginning,please comment
[bodytext] => I killed myself last night,i just wanted it to end,so i took a bottle of pills, hoping it would kill me.I sat there with a smirk on my face thinking how wonderful it would be,to finally be in heaven and all the pain and sorrow to have gone.I.I sat there thinking how I would be leaving all the things i had ever known and how great it would be.I suddnely got scared and as i thoguht of all the things in life i would miss. I would never go to college,get married ot have a baby.I would never be able to watch the sunset,i would never be able to travel to all the places i wanted to. I would never be able to see the rain,or feel the snow. I would never be able to become a famous writer like i had wanted too.I looked around the room and saw a picture of my family and i realized that i would miss them.I suddenly didnt want to die,i wanted to live,to grow up and have a job and a family.There was so much that i wanted to do, sixteen years wasnt enough time to live,there was so much i could still do ,i went to the bathroom and tried to throw up the pills,i couldnt,i called 911 , i sat on the couch and tried to keep my eyes open,i didnt want to die.Suddnely everything went black,and i was here.Its not heaven and if it is its not like i thoguht it would be.it's cold and dark here and im lonely.i didnt want to die,i wanted to live,i dont know why i took those pills,i really had so much to live for, now im stuck here in this place for eternity wondering"why"? [comments] => 2 [counter] => 248 [topic] => 36 [informant] => sapphire2589 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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