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Array
(
[sid] => 34631
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Family Portrait
[time] => 2004-02-11 17:39:37
[hometext] => This is how I feel about situations with my parents. ugh
[bodytext] => I talk to them every week It’s always the same thing The same answer The same situation Nothing ever changes with them Before I ask I already know what they will say I shouldn’t have to be afraid to ask them for something I shouldn’t have to prepare myself for their answer If they lived their lives differently I wouldn’t have to worry about certain things Money Food A car A life The ones before me got everything they needed Everything they wanted They didn’t have to worry about a thing What to do after high school How to pay for college How to get from place to place It was all given to them They have nothing left for me I was the last one I got the sloppy fourths It’s as if they forgot They meant to forget They did not want to remember They didn’t want to put forth the effort They make me feel like I’m a burden A loose tie that needs to be severed I’ve always felt second hand to them They are forced to love me because I’m theirs Maybe I’m overreacting Maybe I’m not Going home is agonizing Constantly hearing how they can’t help me If they could they would How much they love me Is it all a lie? If they can’t handle this How will they be able to handle my life now? The life they know nothing about The life they don’t want to know about “Hey mom, hey dad. I’m gay” Not something they hear everyday Fear courses through my head just thinking about it She would cry He would yell “It’s an abomination”, he would say “It goes against everything we believe in” No longer will they plan my future I will be an embarrassment I will disgrace the “Almond” name This is what they want This is what they have been waiting for Their excuse to finally get rid of me Disown me Take me out of the family tree Write me off their will Never will we be the same They won’t call me I won’t call them Holidays will be cold Dark Lonely Christmas cards will be a thing of the past All this wouldn’t affect me if I had someone Someone I can run to Someone I can share everything with, without fear of losing him Someone who will care for me Whom I can care for Someone who can give me all the love I need Who can hold me in his arms Whom I can hold I need love [comments] => 2 [counter] => 272 [topic] => 23 [informant] => bluoreo [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => FamilyPoems )
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