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Array
(
[sid] => 33765
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => my life .. .
[time] => 2004-02-04 02:37:01
[hometext] => read this i need feed back i think im going crazy this is the first good thing (my own opinion) that i have written since i got my writers block. . .. and it means alot to me just read. ..
[bodytext] => What am i going through? What am i gonna do? Am i gonna give up my fight, and come running back to you? people telling it will be okay, but only if you knew, stuck in this life, with everything to lose, and oh so much to prove, (but im only a kid) corrupt and insecure, pained and obscured, mentally anguished, and there is no cure, (there is a better day) but how can you be so sure? are these the tears of a kid? or those of a grown man? How could my fears bring me to cry? i thought i shed my last tear, when i found out i was alive. Demon seamen, made my father leave, but this little helpless demon, had something up his sleave, who would have known, this would have been me? recently crying every night, like i have some disease. I refuse to get my knees dirty, i will not repent, i ain't living by anyone's expectations, i would rather die by MY sins, blessed with life, so im cursed to death, writing these words, portraying my last breath, What's inside this chest? My heart beats like a clock, tick tock, as i run to the end of my block, harrassed by many people, beaten down to this dock, to confess my sins, in front, as the jury knocks, over my life, no contest just put me in cuffs, the government sucks, i was only defending myself. So now they got me, sitting mindless, never spineless, in silence, praying to die fst, but ill come out last, my past, follows, with sorrows, too deep for me to speak, memories bleak, nowadays i cant talk about the dream. Life's so mean, taking my energy from the streets, having sex just for the heat, but it still remains, that my heart beats, pulling out my hair, as my eyes secreet, these clear, salty rain drops, that never cease, to receive, my beliefs, than decease, your speach, while i maintain to preach.. . . .. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 200 [topic] => 32 [informant] => nate [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )
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