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Array
(
[sid] => 31885
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => At the End of the Day
[time] => 2004-01-16 21:07:20
[hometext] => Sometimes I find myself in say moods, this is one of them. Though I don't feel like this all the time or very often at all it does describe some experiences I have been through. I hope that you can relate. Enjoy, I would love to here comments. :)
[bodytext] => I feel locked up, surrounded by a fence, It used to be so clear, now nothing makes sense. Nobody else looks like they are falling so fast, I used to be first, now I strive to be last. I’m crawling and running at the same time, I used to be innocent, now my whole life is a crime. I look toward the window for a sign of the light, Darkness sets in, I can’t even fight this fight. How can I feel so high, yet be so far down? My dreams turn to smoke, my smile to a frown. It started so long ago, I can’t remember when, If I can’t remember the beginning, how can I make this the end? My friends lives have been torn apart and broken, Filled with lies and deception, even though they aren’t talkin. I see the laughter the energy and hopes torn apart, Replaced be tears, paranoia and a broken heart. Can’t they see us falling? Doesn’t anyone care? All I want is some help, but I can’t ask, that’s too big of a dare. Were afraid of the judgment that we know will come, Afraid of the demeaning stares, that make us so numb. I want to be happy, and I know they do too, Instead of dirty and dusty, I want to be shiny and new. But I am so far down I just don’t think I can get out, I try to be convinced but my mind is clouded with doubt. The smoke forms a haze, now I can’t see, I know I should open a new door, but I can’t find the key. No one is here to hold me and make it ok, I’m scared and alone, just like every other day. No more nights out, no more walks in the dark, The phone never rings, no sunny days in the park. I take a deep breath, and I close my eyes. Its all over now, no more room for any lies. All that’s ahead is certainly my doom. Another night, crying and praying, sitting in my room. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 177 [topic] => 21 [informant] => JillzieGurl [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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