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Array
(
[sid] => 31883
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => collision
[time] => 2004-01-16 19:52:44
[hometext] => excerpt from :: highway to hell :: by AC/DC used by permission. copyright 19?? blahblahwiddlewiddle. suicide by car wreck.
[bodytext] => 50.....driving tonight nowhere special yet driving towards a goal driving for a purpose the empty road feels more like home than any house or family ever did 60.....roll down the windows feeling the wind smelling the coming storm i'll never see i thought that the music for tonight would be important but now i see that it doesn't really matter just throw a CD in not sure which one and i can't help but laugh when i hear "highway to hell" it figures i didn't wanna cry tonight i didn't want this to feel personal but i can already feel my eyes burning the tears won't be far behind (i can't believe i'm gonna do this can't believe i'm just gonna give up) 70.....still excited even through the fear sweat cooling on my body as the air rushes in the soft glow of oncoming headlights lighting the top of the next hill i take a deep breath let loose a dry sob and push the pedal to the floor 75.....i turn off my lights navigating by the trees on my right and the barely visible barb wire fence on my left 85.....i think back over everything the tears blurring my much needed vision i think back and say goodbye if only in my mind 95.....fumbling fingers light my final cigarette steering slightly left praying that we hit the top of the hill at the same time 100.....i begin to laugh uncontrollably my maniacal mirth broken only by periodic screams of triumph 115.....feels like 200 the glow gathering and focusing just over the hill as i approach the top oh god, it's perfect 127.....my car sails over the top of the hill and flies over the hood of the oncoming semi (for a brief second after the glare of his headlights is beneath my car i can see him through the windshield a look of confusion and total disbelief i almost feel sorry for him) (it sounded like the metallic fingernails of god tearing a chalkboard sky to ribbons it sounded like the mutual orgasm achieved when dark machines ***** pistons pumping like steel erections into hollow tailpipes and severed heads it sounded just like i dreamed it would) i'm sure my fender tore his head off as my car rocketed into the top of his trailer with no seatbelt on and my seat pushed all the way back it was a given that i would fly through the windshield (stars bright colored lights circling in my mind warm, so warm inside so numb i think i can feel blood all over me but i'm not really sure) 0.....i lay broken and fading on the road behind the twisted wreck of steel still half-listening for the explosion but it never came just the distorted blare of my somehow-still-functioning stereo "Hey momma, look at me I’m on my way to the promised land I’m on the highway to hell highway to hell highway to hell highway to hell highway to hell (don’t stop me)" [comments] => 6 [counter] => 189 [topic] => 36 [informant] => Cancer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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