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Array ( [sid] => 31022 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Rag Doll [time] => 2004-01-07 22:46:41 [hometext] => Wrote this sometime last week, haven't had a chance to post it. I don't know if I should change the last line to... For I am left on a shelf of self defeat... (feedback is appreciated) Thank you! [bodytext] => I feel like a rag doll
Sprawled out and crumpled on a chair
Tattered and torn are my clothes
Messy and dirty is my hair
Tears flow from my eyes
Cleaning off my face in little streams
No shoes on my feet
And nothing to eat
I sigh as I suffer
But I can’t move on
For I am left in self defeat
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 239 [topic] => 25 [informant] => CoLD [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => MiscPoems )

Rag Doll

Contributed by CoLD on Wednesday, 7th January 2004 @ 10:46:41 PM in AEST
Topic: MiscPoems

I feel like a rag doll
Sprawled out and crumpled on a chair
Tattered and torn are my clothes
Messy and dirty is my hair
Tears flow from my eyes
Cleaning off my face in little streams
No shoes on my feet
And nothing to eat
I sigh as I suffer
But I can’t move on
For I am left in self defeat

Copyright © CoLD ... [ 2004-01-07 22:46:41]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Rag Doll (User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on Wednesday, 7th January 2004 @ 10:56:47 PM AEST
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Interesting perspective...I liked this.

Well done
Larry

Re: Rag Doll (User Rating: 1 )
by ToriVeigh on Wednesday, 7th January 2004 @ 11:04:42 PM AEST
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I've felt like that before. As for the last line, they both work. I think that "Left on the shelf of self defeat" may complete the overall picture a little better though. Nicely done.

Re: Rag Doll (User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 02:38:53 AM AEST
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i like this poem alot.. i enjoyed reading it.. i have felt that way before myself.. very well expressed

peace
JENNA

Re: Rag Doll (User Rating: 1 )
by alecfernadez on Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 07:28:46 AM AEST
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kool, the title of this is of one of the books i'm writing. I understand what its like to feel out of control, and unable to move, and its a great perspective or anology.
Great write
Peace

Re: Rag Doll (User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on Friday, 9th January 2004 @ 04:27:14 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

It was pretty good. I liked the shelf one better for some reason. Maybe it just kept the flow better to me... Dunno.

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