Your Poetry Dot Com

Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!

Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+

Custom Search


Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	29-May 15:22:53 AEST

Menu

· Our eBay Store

· Error Submit

Poetry

· Submit Poetry

· Least Read Poems

· Members Listing

· Old Site Post 2001

· Old Site Pre 2001

· Poetry Archive

· Public Domain Poetry

Stories

· Stories (NEW ! )

· Submit Story

· Story Topics

· Stories Archive

· Story Search

Community

· Our Poetry Forums

· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

Site Help

· FAQ

· Feedback

Members Areas

· Your Account

· Members Journals

· Premium Sign-Up

Premium Section

· Special Section

· Premium Poems

· Premium Submit

· Premium Search

· Premium Archive

· Premium Topics

Fun & Games

· Jokes

· Bubble Puzzle

· Cross Word Easy

· Word Hunt

Reference

· Dictionary (Rhyming)

· Site Updates

· Special Content

Search

Top

Help This Site

· Donations

Others

· Moderators

Our Other Sites

· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

Social

Array ( [sid] => 30331 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Withdrawal [time] => 2003-12-29 09:19:13 [hometext] => Honestly? I have no idea what I'm talking about. Maybe someone else can figure it out. Meanwhile, I'll polish it. [bodytext] => He felt a flicker in his heart
As winds caressed the candle
He clutched his chest and gasped for hope
He struggled as he tumbled.

He knew not the source of pain
Discerning naught from vision
Hands clung to rail as he staggered down
And fought with fate's derision.

For all his gasps he'd found no air
Winds chilled him to the bone
For all his words he'd found no tongue
For he was all alone

The weak lips part in one last song
From childhood parade
He rasps and heaves for air enough
His final serenade

He knew his way to hell's domain
And danced with death on end
Yet finally his time had come
And took him in his bed

Pain wracked his nerves, his mind and soul
Pain tore him inside out
He writhed and screamed for all the world
Yet no one was about

He questioned his untimely death
And stumbled down the stairs
And when he finally made it down
The life's nolonger there.

[comments] => 4 [counter] => 227 [topic] => 13 [informant] => EternitysLyre [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Withdrawal

Contributed by EternitysLyre on Monday, 29th December 2003 @ 09:19:13 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

He felt a flicker in his heart
As winds caressed the candle
He clutched his chest and gasped for hope
He struggled as he tumbled.

He knew not the source of pain
Discerning naught from vision
Hands clung to rail as he staggered down
And fought with fate's derision.

For all his gasps he'd found no air
Winds chilled him to the bone
For all his words he'd found no tongue
For he was all alone

The weak lips part in one last song
From childhood parade
He rasps and heaves for air enough
His final serenade

He knew his way to hell's domain
And danced with death on end
Yet finally his time had come
And took him in his bed

Pain wracked his nerves, his mind and soul
Pain tore him inside out
He writhed and screamed for all the world
Yet no one was about

He questioned his untimely death
And stumbled down the stairs
And when he finally made it down
The life's nolonger there.

Copyright © EternitysLyre ... [ 2003-12-29 09:19:13]
(Date/Time posted on site)

Advertisments:

Previous Posted Poem | | Next Posted Poem

Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more

All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.

Re: Withdrawal (User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on Monday, 29th December 2003 @ 06:57:57 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

It sounds to me about being lonely and dying in solitude, and feeling as if your death would make no difference. Just my interpretation, though. Excellent job, great visuals and word usage, very interesting read. The only thing that felt a little off was the first stanzas lack of rhyme, but that's just nit-picking. Great poem.

Truly,
-V.S.

BTW, is the guy in your poem having a heart attack? Kind of a bad way to go...

Re: Withdrawal (User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on Thursday, 1st January 2004 @ 04:00:11 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I wish all my poems were as good as this

bob

Re: Withdrawal (User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on Tuesday, 6th January 2004 @ 02:18:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Well. This was pretty good and surely told a story. It almost seemed like someone dying of a heart attack at first. Yet I must agree with V.S. it also had a ring of being alone and dying from loneliness. There is an odd sense of abandonment in it or so it would seem.
This right here was a deeply awesome stanza
'He knew his way to hell's domain
And danced with death on end
Yet finally his time had come
And took him in his bed'
It held a very interesting power.

Re: Withdrawal (User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on Thursday, 8th January 2004 @ 01:44:01 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Well written.. it makes a strong impression on the mind of a reader.. venkat

While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com