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Array
(
[sid] => 30320
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => from Zero to Zero
[time] => 2003-12-29 01:17:51
[hometext] => by far the most complex thing i've ever written. a scrawl in every sense of the word. no poetry here, just the struggle of personal evolution.
[bodytext] => i existed as Zero
i was Nothing
but i was free
through self-destruction
i became One
whole within myself
self-reliant
not independent
but undependent
i was the circle of my own life
the shape of a Zero
but the will and "being" of One
i wasn't happy
(i was never happy)
but dammit i was whole
then came you
you smelt like death and i loved it
every automatic message of decay that you drooled
drug me deeper within you
or what i thought was you
but was really only the snare you set
to trap me
so that you could penetrate my perfect One
and flaw it with a mirrored slash
forever scarred as Two
more than just a parasite
for there was passion in your vacuum
so loving as you sucked me dry
so frightened was i, when your fangs first pierced
but i soon grew to "love" the drain
i craved it with the desperate single-mindedness
of a junkie who can't even remember
the way that madness tasted
i was almost you
for a day or two
you and i were almost "we"
for one brief moment
it was almost right
but then you drained me of my One
and the Two just faded away
you smiled, licked your lips, and walked away
you were One
and i was Zero again
now no scars can bring me back to One
the hollow never fills
it just gets deeper with every cut
wider with every person i push away
nothing fills the void
yet i have evolved
for the pain of Zero is greater
the agony, more personal
when you have achieved One
and are reduced by Two
forever Zero
forever Zero
(turning on myself
one last chance
one final attempt
to be whole again
to be One again
existing to myself
as a detached item
seeing myself as an "it"
hold "it" beneath the water
watch "it" slowly turn blue
hear the screams as "it" disappears
feel the giddy rush
as i watch myself die
experiencing death
in two separate forms
dying, as i hold "it" beneath the surface
killing, my own hands pinning me down
our lungs begin to burn
liquid breath
a bright blunt pain in our foreheads
twitching, spasming
the hands that bind lose strength
but it is already too late
and in the final dizzy moment
between the end of dying
and the beginning of Nothing
our blue lips curl upward
floating remains left to smile
for as the Void devoured us
we became One again)
[comments] => 10
[counter] => 312
[topic] => 21
[informant] => Cancer
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 5
[ratings] => 1
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Lifepoems
)
from Zero to Zero
Contributed by
Cancer
on
Monday, 29th December 2003 @ 01:17:51 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
i existed as Zero
i was Nothing
but i was free
through self-destruction
i became One
whole within myself
self-reliant
not independent
but undependent
i was the circle of my own life
the shape of a Zero
but the will and "being" of One
i wasn't happy
(i was never happy)
but dammit i was whole
then came you
you smelt like death and i loved it
every automatic message of decay that you drooled
drug me deeper within you
or what i thought was you
but was really only the snare you set
to trap me
so that you could penetrate my perfect One
and flaw it with a mirrored slash
forever scarred as Two
more than just a parasite
for there was passion in your vacuum
so loving as you sucked me dry
so frightened was i, when your fangs first pierced
but i soon grew to "love" the drain
i craved it with the desperate single-mindedness
of a junkie who can't even remember
the way that madness tasted
i was almost you
for a day or two
you and i were almost "we"
for one brief moment
it was almost right
but then you drained me of my One
and the Two just faded away
you smiled, licked your lips, and walked away
you were One
and i was Zero again
now no scars can bring me back to One
the hollow never fills
it just gets deeper with every cut
wider with every person i push away
nothing fills the void
yet i have evolved
for the pain of Zero is greater
the agony, more personal
when you have achieved One
and are reduced by Two
forever Zero
forever Zero
(turning on myself
one last chance
one final attempt
to be whole again
to be One again
existing to myself
as a detached item
seeing myself as an "it"
hold "it" beneath the water
watch "it" slowly turn blue
hear the screams as "it" disappears
feel the giddy rush
as i watch myself die
experiencing death
in two separate forms
dying, as i hold "it" beneath the surface
killing, my own hands pinning me down
our lungs begin to burn
liquid breath
a bright blunt pain in our foreheads
twitching, spasming
the hands that bind lose strength
but it is already too late
and in the final dizzy moment
between the end of dying
and the beginning of Nothing
our blue lips curl upward
floating remains left to smile
for as the Void devoured us
we became One again)
Copyright ©
Cancer
... [
2003-12-29 01:17:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: from Zero to Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Monday, 29th December 2003 @ 01:40:11 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| dark subconscious thoughts "..as i watch myself die experiencing death in two separate forms dying, as i hold "it" beneath the surface killing, my own hands pinning me down" very interesting write .. venkat |
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Re: from Zero to Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Monday, 29th December 2003 @ 03:48:29 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| wow.......can't even remember the way that madness tasted.......your "scrawl" is brilliant............ |
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Re: from Zero to Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by Candi on
Monday, 29th December 2003 @ 05:46:27 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
this is the true definition of a poem to me. it has all of the elements. so much passion and emotion. what you write is all sooo very true. i think we have all had a simular situation happen to us. absolutely great write. i couldnt love it more if it were my own. i look forward to more of your work. thankyou for sharing it with me.
candi |
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Re: from Zero to Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by dumfries on
Monday, 29th December 2003 @ 06:24:49 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| It is very powerful. If you weren't here to post it, I'd think it was your last written testament of life in a sort of self mutilating way. |
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Re: from Zero to Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stalkee on
Monday, 29th December 2003 @ 09:23:38 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| "no poetry here?" I call this poetry =) good job |
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Re: from Zero to Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Monday, 29th December 2003 @ 02:29:37 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I know we disagree on what makes poetry, so call this a scrawl if you will, but I am completely wowed by this poem. Yes, poem. Please insert "unasked for and pleasing morsels of truth given freely". Lots of 'em.
Wow.
--Nora |
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Re: from Zero to Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Monday, 29th December 2003 @ 09:40:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Well w/e u wanna call this it was mind-blowing and disturbing. Reminded me of Gollum. "Their tricksy... We'll steals it from them we will! We don't like fat hobbitses." Except your poem was better cause of the sheer mind-blowingness of it and i could babble on repeating myself, but I'll just shut up and go do something else. Keep up the writing.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: from Zero to Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cobalt on
Tuesday, 30th December 2003 @ 03:53:28 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| ...... Holy ***** *****.... In*****credible...... That was absolutely amazing man....... That wowed the hell out of me................ |
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Re: from Zero to Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by tease_whizz on
Thursday, 1st January 2004 @ 09:36:44 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
had to read this a few times to get through the complexity, but damn it was worth it. i like the word play and the ever-mind-blowing imagery. for some reason, i feel like it would make an awesome set of lyrics for a death metal band.
but anyway, great scrawl. Kate x |
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Re: from Zero to Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 1st April 2004 @ 10:54:14 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I'd never have read this if you hadn't pointed it out In the promo-forum, and I'm really glad I did. I sometimes get a bit averse to free verse, perhaps because I read so much crap written in it of late - but this is the diametric opposite of what I'd call crap.
The flow is direct, the emotion unforgiving and the concept? . . .
Excellent, in its association with the Order and Power of Number.
A wonderfully constructed and inspired poem. My congratulations.
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