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Array
(
[sid] => 30165
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => TODAY I DIED
[time] => 2003-12-25 23:01:17
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => TODAY I DIED By vinnie 12/25/03 This is it, this is life, what am I doing, why do I hate, I hate myself, if I could die I would, I can't die, I hate all I’ve done wrong, I’m trying to understand, the more I live the more I want to die, I’ve never been good at life, look at me I’m dead, please don’t save me, I try to give you truth, I try to do right but I can’t, I would sell my soul to you for my freedom, there’s something deep inside of me which leads me to despair, there's nothing left but wasted years, if only I could change my past, now I’m about to die, it's not hard to fail it's not easier to win, there's nothing left for me, my soul is bleeding, my scares cut open, my anger is growing, self hatred controlling, guilt betraying, my soul is gone, my life is over, my truth is gone, my power to live taken once again by the higher hand, that defeated me once again, I fall to the ground hoping this isn’t real, hoping I never lived this life, I begin to scream to the devil that lives inside of me, my devil is freed and ready to kill, I hope you’d understand, you promised, what ever you said I only thought to be true, you deceived me into my confession, I know it's my fault, but you weren’t there to save me, you begin to blame me once again, you lied to me, I will always be sorry, I will always miss you, I can't take this any more, I can't live like this anymore, I want to change my ways but you cut my rope, now I’m DEAD, good bye to my past and present. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 203 [topic] => 36 [informant] => vinnie731 [notes] => (Edited by Mod_1 by request) [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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