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Array
(
[sid] => 29736
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The story of ME
[time] => 2003-12-19 08:02:42
[hometext] => Ever been so afraid of your thoughts that you find yourself sleeping to escape them?
[bodytext] => I look out through the cold grey burglar bars into the presence of green lush creations. They call to me so loudly, to be innocent, pure, to be HOLY, but I ask...What is Holy? No reply. I feel trapped in my Circular prison, confined to the comfort of my four dull walls. I feel small, I feel lonely, I feel like I need someone. I long for this holiness but I long also for my sin. I want both, I almost need both. I want to be with you God, but I don't want to be normal! Expalin that, someone. A cloud will never remain the same for longer than a minute. I see a rabbit then I see a dragon. I see a baby laughing, then I see a thousand deaths. I see smiles which change into tears. I see this all the time, but most of all I see it in my own reflection. I long for someone to touch me. To reach beyond their comfort zone and step into a land of war. I want someone to feel my pain, anger and touch my tears and I want them to show me the way, Be with me night and day to guide me and teach me. I draw close to you friend, maybe even telling you my griefs and hurts but when you step too close I push you away, pulling frantically to be free of that smile, that smile that knows my life, that smile that I could turn into a tear! You look at me like a stranger, I don't blame you because you haven't yet met all my personalities. I hate those looks, the ones that look deep within your soul, the ones that almost wish to be a listener. I hate them knowing , but I also love the attention. I hate their hugs but sometimes I long for them. I hate their laughter but many a time it's music to my ears. I even hate the crowd but where would i be without them? Why do I always mess up people's lives? Why do I listen to their problems, give solutions but find none for myself? Why do I love that which I should hate and why do I hate that which has first loved me?? Why, I ask, should I care? [comments] => 3 [counter] => 221 [topic] => 21 [informant] => MissTea [notes] => (Edited by Mod_1 by request) [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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