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Array
(
[sid] => 29620
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Victim of my Own Insanity
[time] => 2003-12-18 01:22:25
[hometext] => * I'm really tempted right now... I just lost my job and I believe this is fitting in its own twisted way. *
[bodytext] => I throw myself down the stairs Just to feel And Agony never fails to produce Trying to hold down my emotions As I realize Pain will not fulfil this time Gazing into the grimy windows Wondering if they can give me The satisfaction I crave Tracing a dark design in the grime This house has witnessed everything And I make sure NOTHING leaves Crying these forgotten, lonely tears Amidst the echoing silence I weep I stare into the murky windows And my soul is drawn into it Knowing I can't live with myself anymore These four walls they entrap and encircle me I need out, but not the way you think I break a window into tiny slivers And slowly wash them clean (Don't want to die from infection) Until they glitter like new I close my eyes the dirt of all my actions, My paranoia, my failures, and my fears It shrieks at me piercing the deepest fragment of my soul Tearing at my fortitude and my will, But I know I must do this I breathe in as my wrist murmurs out And slowly the glass turns a rusty, sickly hue I smile both content and intent As the voices wage a war within me, But I've already chosen sides And my final chapter is being sung My wrist hangs in torn, loose shreds And I smile through my fog I sway to my knees Smearing 'good-bye' into the floor I will never be found or missed I've shut myself away for to long A victim of my own insanity [comments] => 9 [counter] => 314 [topic] => 36 [informant] => bobotheclown [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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