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Array ( [sid] => 2928 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Before What? [time] => 2002-08-28 16:48:38 [hometext] => I haven't been on this site in a long time, I have been going through some healing but since my poetry is on the old site i thought that i might repost it here, i hope you enjoy and please, i welcome any comments, thanks :) [bodytext] => I sit here with the paper,
The pen, the pills, the blade and gun.
I wonder when it happens,
"How soon will it be done?"
Will I feel the drugs turn me inside out?
When I slit my wrists will is squirt about?Will I have the strength,
To put the muzzle to my mouth?
When they walk in, what will they see?
Maybe the note, then me...
Or maybe they wont even notice.
They never did before.
And even if they do,
Will they just shut the door?
They note will be on the counter,
So they will not miss it.
When I shoot my mouth off,
No one will ever kiss it.
They never did before.
When my hands are covered in blood,
Who will keep them warm?
No matter, no one ever did before.
When the pills overtake my stomach,
Never again will they have to fill it.
Who cares? One less chore.
I see my reflection in the mirror.
I want to smash it but they might hear.
Not that they would care.
Maybe I should save the mess.
I could do it off a bridge.
No one would find my body for days...
No. They deserve to find me.
Here is what my note says:
"Do not shed your tears.
Or curse upon God's ears.
Do not spend your money,
Why spend what you never have before?
I never really belonged,
Before.
We never really talked,
Before.
You always saw right through me,
Before.
Now do you see me?
Why should you?
You never did BEFORE...

[comments] => 2 [counter] => 200 [topic] => 36 [informant] => Avery [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

Before What?

Contributed by Avery on Wednesday, 28th August 2002 @ 04:48:38 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

I sit here with the paper,
The pen, the pills, the blade and gun.
I wonder when it happens,
"How soon will it be done?"
Will I feel the drugs turn me inside out?
When I slit my wrists will is squirt about?Will I have the strength,
To put the muzzle to my mouth?
When they walk in, what will they see?
Maybe the note, then me...
Or maybe they wont even notice.
They never did before.
And even if they do,
Will they just shut the door?
They note will be on the counter,
So they will not miss it.
When I shoot my mouth off,
No one will ever kiss it.
They never did before.
When my hands are covered in blood,
Who will keep them warm?
No matter, no one ever did before.
When the pills overtake my stomach,
Never again will they have to fill it.
Who cares? One less chore.
I see my reflection in the mirror.
I want to smash it but they might hear.
Not that they would care.
Maybe I should save the mess.
I could do it off a bridge.
No one would find my body for days...
No. They deserve to find me.
Here is what my note says:
"Do not shed your tears.
Or curse upon God's ears.
Do not spend your money,
Why spend what you never have before?
I never really belonged,
Before.
We never really talked,
Before.
You always saw right through me,
Before.
Now do you see me?
Why should you?
You never did BEFORE...

Copyright © Avery ... [ 2002-08-28 16:48:38]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Before What? (User Rating: 1 )
by orgygirl on Friday, 30th August 2002 @ 09:06:43 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I've wrote several suicide poems in my day I think there is one on this site anyhow I like how you put this piece together, it spoke to me. I really liked this and for that I thank you.

Re: Before What? (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on Wednesday, 10th September 2003 @ 09:15:58 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is so sad, but so well written..
Jenni

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