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Array
(
[sid] => 28826
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Realization
[time] => 2003-12-07 18:35:54
[hometext] => Realizing the end and not liking it
[bodytext] => It’s funny the way life works How nothing ends up the way you want You have to go with life’s little quirks No matter the pain it does flaunt I hate life more than can be imagined Why can’t it ever be what I desire? Maybe because I’m so frightened To ruin myself, I seem to conspire At least in this way I’ll never be disappointed For if I cause my own dismay I can’t be too cruelly wounded How could I do that to him? How could I not see? I must truly be dim To have judged that badly I knew he deserved more from the start I can’t believe I even tried I could have as easily stomped my own heart And avoided how much I’ve cried Why do I hold him in such high esteem? Is he really so much better than me? Him wanting me is a dream For him, why must I feel so deeply? Why could I not see past my own heart Enough to see his was on the edge too? Maybe I’ve never been that smart Why can’t he see that I never knew? Going over and over this is futility His heart and mind I can’t change The facts I must face grimly He is now out of my range I’ll never expect you to accept me again I wish I had realized the truth Before the absolute ruin I’m just not that good a sleuth I wish I had known That your heart traveled this avenue Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so alone And all this, I wouldn’t have gone through No matter what pain I’ve felt I know you’re not to blame No matter what it was my heart spelled You were never mine to claim I'll continue with life for the sake of my kids For them I’ll now live My heart now forbids Hope, to ever relive! I hope that one day he knows Just how much he means to me Yes, my chance I did blow But only because I see myself so cheaply Mike, I told you before Long before we were this close You deserve so much more Definitely more than us psychos [comments] => 6 [counter] => 204 [topic] => 22 [informant] => ToriVeigh [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
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