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Array
(
[sid] => 28737
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => the monster
[time] => 2003-12-06 14:21:38
[hometext] => upon talking with a friend about poetry, he suggested a way to just sit down and write whatever, not censoring or trying to get the right words out....so this just came to me...hope it is enjoyed..somewhat..
[bodytext] => each day locked inside me each day numb within nothing is real to me anymore...the monster... only quickened, only strengthened with every slice of my blade.. silent screams, silent prayers will someone hear me? feelings long gone, heart in constant ache everything is wrong, what more will i take? all i crave is release all i crave is redemption to stop the monster in its tracts and set free my beaten soul but it isnt possible...isnt that easy... these lies within me pile up i want to disappear so badly.. erase it all away to hide from everything and everyone to push away as i yearn for help so deeply, i cannot speak the monster inside wins again as i go on with the charade even as i bleed losing sight of what i once was like.. long ago..it wont go away.. every step i take, every vow i had broken i need someone to catch me now i am falling as i have always been falling no one hears me, no one sees these scars i am my own burden now the razor only bides me time the tears have gone from me no more to be shed i cannot handle this, i dont want to be forgotten wanting to escape this fake world so much... my monster..my hunger....my hurt.... so numb now... can hardly feel my love anymore.. the only thing that is not fake the only thing this monster cant take... my unending love... where have i gone to? where am i now? do i need this monster?..need it to feel? does it give me purpose through this numb life..or does it elevate my pain? how i only want to heal.. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 152 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Ldy_Tryst_Vampyrre [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 30 [ratings] => 6 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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