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shouting at the top of my lungs

Contributed by Written2bRead on Thursday, 27th November 2003 @ 06:59:48 PM in AEST
Topic: AngryPoetry



I feel so fake when my weak face smiles just so I won't be thrown away
...like most tears are
no one should want to share these with me
so I'll say everything's fine
I will lie for as long as I can
I'll say I want to be extra to you and that I love my life even though this heart has no home
I will say, "don't ask for the truth and I won't tell"
...but I really wish someone wanted to know...

I wonder, "How much longer will this thing run without being put to use somewhere?"
it won't be long... before I'll force my cold heart on anyone who might accept it
I could give my heart to you on a slip of paper so you'll HAVE to read me
but you'll never have to ask me anything... I wish you would.

There are the things I won't think about,
the things I won't think about telling,
and the things I won't tell.
There are words in my heart that I won't allow to my lungs
words in my lungs I'll not allow to my throat.
words in my throat I'll not allow to my lips
...because there are words in the air you're not thirsty enough to allow past your ear...
I said them softly
"I don't want to be a secret"
"I don't want to be a secret"
"I don't want to be a secret"
"I don't want to be a secret"
until I was crying and I couldn't whisper anymore
now all I can let out are shouts and tears and deep breaths inbetween

I'll apologize and at the same time I'll blame everyone for the apathy that let them witness this.
Did I choose to let my heart die?
Did I choose to become so cold?
Did I choose to become so difficult to love?
"I didn't turn up the volume, you did.
Is this too loud for anyone to keep listening to?
Well I'll keep shouting at the top of my lungs!"


I've been trying to live with no room in my ribcage to do so
you'll reach into my open chest
pull my reason to feel from it's cage
and hold it as long as the exit wound doesn't heal shut
shut the cage and lock it after you force my heart back to me
because I know... it's for my own good
and besides, it's not quite what you were looking for
it has holes in it and it leaks
you don't like hearts that bleed this much
If I can't empty my heart I'll go empty my pen and eyes of any warm liquid.

I'm ashamed for pulling myself inside out for you
when your lips had barely begun to form the words to ask the favor




Copyright © Written2bRead ... [ 2003-11-27 18:59:48]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: shouting at the top of my lungs (User Rating: 1 )
by mckayla on Thursday, 27th November 2003 @ 07:18:54 PM AEST
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Something must be hurting you deeply. I hope things get better. Good write!

mckayla


Re: shouting at the top of my lungs (User Rating: 1 )
by Chanti on Thursday, 27th November 2003 @ 11:40:26 PM AEST
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Beautiful write. Sometimes you need to shout to be heard.


Re: shouting at the top of my lungs (User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on Friday, 28th November 2003 @ 04:30:27 AM AEST
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Wow... it's just overflowing with emotion. My heart goes out to you! This is incredible, it really tugged at my heartstrings! (((((BIG HUGS)))))) I sure hope someone gives you what you need.

~ Moonlit


Re: shouting at the top of my lungs (User Rating: 1 )
by echomywurdz on Friday, 28th November 2003 @ 11:38:15 PM AEST
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hmm very emotional...but nice
sounds like something i would post on another site...felt that before....well anyways good job and if you ever need anyone to talk to im here

-xXx eCh0.my.WurdZ xXx




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