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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 13:45:10 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 27866
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => It Didn't Work!
[time] => 2003-11-24 22:45:28
[hometext] => This one is about a girl that tried to commit suicid and it didn't work and she discribes her experiance
[bodytext] => Numbness dizzyness darkness finally i open my eyes now all these bright lights they blind me people ask me strange questions "of corse I know my name dumb*** what do you think i'm crazy?" "can you tell me your name?" "no *****! My name is..." I search in my mind it's lost in there somewhere it takes me a while to find my name just my name why is it so hard to find my name? I finally find it and tell the doctor he looks at me with concern I guess I took too long and he then looks at a nurse and says something that is a forgin language to me He then asks me where I live I say "why, so you can take me on a date?" But then I see his sreious face and I look for the answer... and I do tell him the truth but he is not satisfied I said "I know where I live but I"m not going back" They stick a needle in my arm and I scream he trys to calm me down telling me that it's ok Then the lights are dimed and some of the nurses leave and another doctor comes in and I am put into another room Finally someone tells me what happened they say... "you've lost a lot of blood" and I automaticallt look at my wrist but they are bandaged "and you had a seizue, due to your overdose you're lucky to be alive" and I say "Yeah whatever" Then tears and more tears and then the doctor says "I called your family they'll be here soon" Then he leaves and I feel fear I am too ashamed to see my family now that they know I wish i would ie just right now in this bed so i don't have to answer any questions that i'll be forced to answer I look at my arms and I still can see hints of blood as I remove the bandages I cringe at the pain I look at my mangled wrists and ask "Why? Why didn't you kill me?" then i start crying again and it's impossible to stop My mother comes in with a tear streaked face she asks me a question and I don't answer I just look out the window and say to shut the blinds but I still stare out out at nothing I can see it again the sharp razor against my skin the bottle of pills beside me and I say "I did it right why didn't it work?" My mother says someting but I don't awknowlage it and I look down at my wrists touch one and for some reason it doesn't hurt "It didn't work!" I scream crying it again and again I don't move I just scream and nurses come running in and then I fall asleep But that doesn't help I just dream about it more and I can hear the screaming and I hate myself It didn't work! Why didn't it work?! [comments] => 0 [counter] => 158 [topic] => 36 [informant] => Ewin [notes] => moderator_9 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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