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IT WAS NOVEMBER FOURTH
Contributed by
jaeann
on
Tuesday, 4th November 2003 @ 03:00:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
It was November 4th, 1990.
It was 8:24 at night.
It was past dinnertime.
The bathroom floor was soaked from his bath.
It was a weekend.
It was Sunday.
I was polishing my shoes.
It was warm for November.
I was coming right back.
I thought it was someone else that was calling.
They had been trying for twenty minutes.
They couldn't do anything.
I watched the phone fall from my hand and hit the floor.
I didn't hear it.
I heard myself say "OH MY GOD" over and over and over and over again.
I heard him yell at me.
I heard the baby cry.
I heard him say "We'll be right there."
I am in a tunnel now.
I feel so cold.
Empty.
There is a smiling baby boy in front of me and I'm feeling empty.
WHY?
I walk into your room.
It's too bright.
It's too happy.
I find myself outside on the lawn.
I am wondering if I take the time to walk there if you'll still be here?
All a mistake.
All a cruel hoax.
Screaming
Crying
Moaning
I just want my baby.
I just want my little girl back.
Walking down the corridor to the place you rest.
I see their faces.
They've been crying.
WHY?
Have they lost their baby too?
I go to you.
That's not my baby.
You won't wake up and I cannot keep you warm.
I can't push back those hands and rock you when you were only a day old.
You're not holding me back.
How do I make it the same?
Oh dear god somone change this back.
Come back to me.
Please.........
This is not fair.
Yousaid your good-byes but you never gave me the chance.
Come back I'll make it better.
I'll try harder.
I'll love you more.
Just come back.
Now more people are here.
They say I need to go home.
They say I need to let you go.
WHY?
You are mine.
I don't want to let you go.
I'm not supposed to just let go.
I cannot let go.
Have they ever lost a little girl?
Did they want to let go?
Could they?
Oh, now I am so very tired.
I want to go with you.
No one needs me but you.
Who's going to need me now?
I have no one.
I'm not a mommie without you.
THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!
I don't like this.
I've been your mommie for too long now.
He's strong.
He doesn't want me.
Doesn't need me.
You need me.
I need you.
Oh please don't go without me.
Atleast take this pain away.
Don't leave me here all alone.
Please don't leave me alone with all this pain.
Copyright ©
jaeann
... [
2003-11-04 15:00:04] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: IT WAS NOVEMBER FOURTH
(User Rating: 1 ) by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Tuesday, 4th November 2003 @ 04:50:51 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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*tears* :( this is so sad.... :(
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Re: IT WAS NOVEMBER FOURTH
(User Rating: 1 ) by DreamWeaver on
Tuesday, 4th November 2003 @ 05:07:31 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Seems like I've been waiting for this poem to come ... after reading your last few on this subject ... didn't know what day it would be ... and there are just no words to express my sympathy for such an horrific ordeal ... one I'm sure you relive many times ... a very gripping write ... terribly sad, but well written ... Jan |
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Re: IT WAS NOVEMBER FOURTH
(User Rating: 1 ) by PhantomVampyress on
Tuesday, 4th November 2003 @ 05:19:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is very very sad.. sorry you had to go through such a tradedy God bless you. and that was a beatiful poem
JENNI E |
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Re: IT WAS NOVEMBER FOURTH
(User Rating: 1 ) by shelby on
Wednesday, 5th November 2003 @ 10:45:42 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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so very sad you captured each feeling well Im sorry for this loss
michelle |
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Re: IT WAS NOVEMBER FOURTH
(User Rating: 1 ) by Merry on
Tuesday, 25th November 2003 @ 07:32:45 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I had to wipe the tears from my eyes before i could write anything - this is terribly sad and there is nothing i can say really, it's good that you can write about it, and i hope it helps you to deal with your loss. I can't imainge anything worse than losing a child.
hugs
merry
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