Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!
Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com    Poems On Site: 198,500+   Comments On Poems: 427,000+   Forum Posts: 105,000+
Custom Search
  Welcome ! Home  ·  FAQ  ·  Topics  ·  Web Links  ·  Your Account  ·  Submit Poetry  ·  Top 30  ·  OldSite Link 29-May 13:25:18 AEST  
  Menu
  Home
· Micks Shop
· Our eBay Store· Error Submit
 Poetry
· Submit Poetry
· Least Read Poems
· Topics
· Members Listing
· Old Site Post 2001
· Old Site Pre 2001
· Poetry Archive
· Public Domain Poetry
 Stories
· Stories (NEW ! )
· Submit Story
· Story Topics
· Stories Archive
· Story Search
  Community
· Our Poetry Forums
· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

  Site Help
· FAQ
· Feedback

  Members Areas
· Your Account
· Members Journals
· Premium Sign-Up
  Premium Section
· Special Section
· Premium Poems
· Premium Submit
· Premium Search
· Premium Top
· Premium Archive
· Premium Topics
 Fun & Games

· Jokes
· Bubble Puzzle
· ConnectN
· Cross Word
· Cross Word Easy
· Drag Puzzle
· Word Hunt
 Reference
· Dictionary
· Dictionary (Rhyming)
· Site Updates
· Content
· Special Content
 Search
· Search
· Web Links
· All Links
 Top
· Top 30
  Help This Site
· Donations
 Others
· Recipes
· Moderators
Our Other Sites
· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

  Social

Array ( [sid] => 25994 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Death is coming for me [time] => 2003-10-28 23:37:59 [hometext] => I don't like the ending to this, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. [bodytext] => Walking alone down a dark deserted street
No one in sight, shadows lurking around me
My breathing accelerates, my heart races
I know something is there even if I cannot see

It’s a struggle not to run
Have to stay calm, show no fear
I’m in control of my life
Even when death is so near

I have nowhere to run and no one to turn to
No one believes my demons are real
They are phantoms of my imagination
So why is it, there hot breath on my skin I still feel?

The night gets darker, the fog closes in
They are coming closer, my time is almost here
I cannot stop the whimper that escapes my lips
As soon death himself will appear

I sink to the ground, my legs too weak to carry on
I cannot fight that which I cannot see
These demons are here to take my life
If only I was stronger, this would not be

Soon deaths’ hand will wrap around my heart
As I lay my head upon the cold hard ground
My last thoughts are of my family and friends
What will they think when I am finally found?

[comments] => 5 [counter] => 150 [topic] => 13 [informant] => mercedes [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
Death is coming for me

Contributed by mercedes on Tuesday, 28th October 2003 @ 11:37:59 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



Walking alone down a dark deserted street
No one in sight, shadows lurking around me
My breathing accelerates, my heart races
I know something is there even if I cannot see

It’s a struggle not to run
Have to stay calm, show no fear
I’m in control of my life
Even when death is so near

I have nowhere to run and no one to turn to
No one believes my demons are real
They are phantoms of my imagination
So why is it, there hot breath on my skin I still feel?

The night gets darker, the fog closes in
They are coming closer, my time is almost here
I cannot stop the whimper that escapes my lips
As soon death himself will appear

I sink to the ground, my legs too weak to carry on
I cannot fight that which I cannot see
These demons are here to take my life
If only I was stronger, this would not be

Soon deaths’ hand will wrap around my heart
As I lay my head upon the cold hard ground
My last thoughts are of my family and friends
What will they think when I am finally found?





Copyright © mercedes ... [ 2003-10-28 23:37:59]
(Date/Time posted on site)





Advertisments:






Previous Posted Poem         | |         Next Posted Poem


 
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.
Re: Death is coming for me (User Rating: 1 )
by brokenheartedfool on Tuesday, 28th October 2003 @ 11:44:40 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I think the poem's great the way it is. Good write. Brokenheartedfool


Re: Death is coming for me (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Tuesday, 28th October 2003 @ 11:57:31 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I agree it is great as is but u could have chosen to face your fears..
Very good writing!
I like the part where everyone says they r your imaginations. I understand those thoughts clearly!
If more folks would let go of there antic ideas and listen when someone talks there would be much less suicides and desparation!
You've captured the desparation in a very stong write here!
I give u 2 thumbs up!
peace, joy, luv,
emy



1


Re: Death is coming for me (User Rating: 1 )
by Undeadsuperstar on Wednesday, 29th October 2003 @ 01:25:37 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
personally, and i'm trying to be honest but not brutal.... this seems a bit forced. The meter doesn't flow like poetry, its more like... like rambling. Mad ramblings of the cliche depressed.


Re: Death is coming for me (User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygodslove on Wednesday, 29th October 2003 @ 06:07:14 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I THINK THEY WOULD CRY .....

WOW.. MY FRIEND...GOOD WRITE.......

BUT THE CHRISTIAN IN ME WOULD SAY
I REBUKE THOSE DANG DEMONS
AND ASK THE LORD TO HELP ME
AND WHEN THE TIME COMES TO DIE
PEACE AND LOVE WILL BE YOUR UNDERSTANDING......AND DEATH IS A REWARD TO BE WITH YOUR LORD......

BUT GOOD WRITE..TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF....SANDY


Re: Death is coming for me (User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on Wednesday, 29th October 2003 @ 02:07:20 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
ramblings are good......and this does have flow.....nothing cliched about anything!!!! great work.....leave it the way it is......leaves the reader thinking the same things you are......




While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com