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Array
(
[sid] => 24737
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => A VISIT TO MY DENTIST
[time] => 2003-10-09 23:34:44
[hometext] => These are the "Mind Games" I play while I'm at the Dentist, keeps me sane!
[bodytext] => From the minute the appointment is written down. I begin to mark the date in my head with a frown! Walking the "Green Mile" except at it's end, you get to die for a while! A day set aside to go to the Dentist, is a day set apart, like no other! "Torturing, tormenting thoughts, are infected, and inflicted the night before, by one another! "Are you Connie? Pauline says. I reply, "Yes I am." Pauline always sweetly says, "Take door two!" I think, "Oh, how I would like to take door two, with me, that is, as I run out of view! I just love Dr. Allegretti's assistant, Pauline, I call here "Pauline Prose" 'cause she's really on her toes! Dr. Allegretti is always ready, and very steady! With much apprehension, I go through door two. A huge colored ironing board comes into view. It's rose, and matches my face, as I turn blue. This is when I begin to shake...... "Oh Please Dear God, my soul to take!" Their ironing board is adjustable. The first thing I know it's being adjusted from below, and all I can see is my toe. "This is really going to be bad!. They're putting my head down 'cause it's going to hurt so badly they think I'm going to faint, I'm feeling rather misplaced, much like a link! 'This will just feel like a little prick." "A little prick? feels more like stick! Please Doc, stop before you get to my nose. My eyeballs are cavity clear.... They don't need to be froze!!!" The Dr. says, "Now before I start, if it hurts, Just say so, and I'll stop and use some more 'No to pain' or 'acid rain,' we don't want you to suffer any pain!" "But, Doc, how can I tell you, I can't speak? There's so many tools in my mouth, I feel like a damaged dam, springing a leak!" He starts with the new "Atomic Drills" These are "Jet Propelled" with combustion thrills! When the drill is turned on, the combustion is so strong, it molds a square jaw into oblong! Sometimes, the combustion hits your throat, and without notice you gargle, just like a Steamboat! Pauline Prose is the "Keeper of the Toys!" She is so busy handing them to the Dr. She may accidentally step on his toes, that controls, the speed of the Drill? This can be bleak! As the Atomic Drills go right through your cheek! Drilling must be fun for Dentists. Because they Drill, and Drill, and Drill.... I always think, "It's such a tiny tooth.... Will I even had a tooth left, after all this "Over-Drill?" Each drill has it's own name you see? One is the "Jack Hammer" it's used with Glee! Then comes the "Pounder" what a "Bounder" it can be! Don't forget the Sandpaper strip...when used feels like someone is scrapping their finger nail on the blackboard to strip! Then there's the Flip, the Dip, the Grip, and the Zip! After all that you think you're "Home Free!" But wait a minute...They've forgotten the cavity! Now comes the fun part....It's called "caulking" Pauline fills the "caulking gun", the Dr. aims the "caulking" gun & shoots carefully & forcefully, But you're not dead yet, now for the real fun! Pauline holds the yellow shield over your nose. While she applied the "Blow Torch! This is a handy little toy, saves many a "nose-scorch!" Time for the "Shower", Pauline sprays water directly in your mouth, after gagging some, you realize it's rather refreshing, but where's the drought? I'm now casading over Niagra Falls, mouth wide open in a head first stall! Oh, Yes, I failed to mention, I WASN'T HURT ONCE! NOT AT ALL! Finally after 60 some years, I've found a Dentist, and his assistant, that have calmed my fears! That's my wish for all of you, that you too, may find a wonderful Dentist that will never hurt you! My final words to end this little "Ditty" Will go to Dr Allegretti, and his assistant Pauline. How can I ever thank you enough for not being rough! When I go to you, I no longer have to be tough! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Created by Cheri Cam LeBren I didn't have to commit suicide after all. "Twas just like being worked over by the road crew at the Fireman's Ball! October 8, 2003 [comments] => 3 [counter] => 195 [topic] => 7 [informant] => lovingcritters [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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