Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!
Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com    Poems On Site: 198,500+   Comments On Poems: 427,000+   Forum Posts: 105,000+
Custom Search
  Welcome ! Home  ·  FAQ  ·  Topics  ·  Web Links  ·  Your Account  ·  Submit Poetry  ·  Top 30  ·  OldSite Link 29-May 12:45:34 AEST  
  Menu
  Home
· Micks Shop
· Our eBay Store· Error Submit
 Poetry
· Submit Poetry
· Least Read Poems
· Topics
· Members Listing
· Old Site Post 2001
· Old Site Pre 2001
· Poetry Archive
· Public Domain Poetry
 Stories
· Stories (NEW ! )
· Submit Story
· Story Topics
· Stories Archive
· Story Search
  Community
· Our Poetry Forums
· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

  Site Help
· FAQ
· Feedback

  Members Areas
· Your Account
· Members Journals
· Premium Sign-Up
  Premium Section
· Special Section
· Premium Poems
· Premium Submit
· Premium Search
· Premium Top
· Premium Archive
· Premium Topics
 Fun & Games

· Jokes
· Bubble Puzzle
· ConnectN
· Cross Word
· Cross Word Easy
· Drag Puzzle
· Word Hunt
 Reference
· Dictionary
· Dictionary (Rhyming)
· Site Updates
· Content
· Special Content
 Search
· Search
· Web Links
· All Links
 Top
· Top 30
  Help This Site
· Donations
 Others
· Recipes
· Moderators
Our Other Sites
· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

  Social

Array ( [sid] => 24360 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => Found Who I Am [time] => 2003-10-04 07:05:00 [hometext] => I wrote this in highschool for my descriptive and creative writing. [bodytext] => It feels as if I have been sitting here gazing into oblivion nearly all my life. When in actual fact I have only been here in this house for one painful hour, after several years.
I sit still, still as the night. Everything else keeps on moving but in this moment I am paralysed, suppressed my all my childish fears. Outside I can hear the tired engines of old and overworked cars moaning and groaning like a pregnant women giving birth to her over due baby. And as high-pitched as a Banshee’s scream the tires of those cars set my ears to bleed as they hurdle down the street. The road is black as an ocean robbed of its jewels in the depths of Hell, with its waves of blood lapping fresh bones to shore.
I sit here in my grandfather’s room that looks exactly as it was when I was a child. I think hard and long about how far I have come with out him or anyone. But I do not understand that if he had to leave then why doesn’t he just leave because his presence still lingers here and will not leave me alone. His face it haunts, my once happy dreams. I can still hear his voice it chases away all the sanity in me like a bird set free never to return again. I’m totally desolate drowning in despair deafened by losing him.
The room closes in on me like I’m in an Indiana Jones film. I struggle to breathe as my memories surround me like a mob of bullies throwing stones at me. I run and run down the hallway into my childhood sanctuary. I lock the door to keep my memories out just like the grizzly monsters in the back of my wardrobe. I breathe in and out, recovering from the torture of my vignettes of happiness that now haunt me.
As I wade around nervously the memories catch up with me, like a hurricane they shake every bone in me. I rush in a hurricane of my own towards the window and yank it up. And through my closed eyes I suddenly see clearest and understand what was. In all my red I see a white dove flutter past and I wonder if the artist is a sad man, I wonder if the artist is a mad man, but he takes my cold hand and leads me into this place. In the distance I hear voices, the music of what was and past choices. Dust to diamond I feel brand new and able to cope with the ambivalent past, the unexpected present and the untold and unseen future.
In hope of new I bathe my streets in neon lite. I finally fall into him, fall into love, fall into true. I spiral down the mountains of castles built in my head, cascading visions of him, visions of red swelled in blue. My lack of perfection feeds my self-rejection and I create reason I can’t have him.
I finally fall into it; I finally fall into him into love, with what I can’t have and can loose I finally fall and learn how to handle endless pain and endless love. I fall and accept the past as a precious gift that was always destined to be mine just like the house my grand father left me over ten years ago. With what he left me I found who I am, what I was afraid of and how I feel now.
Crooked eye twisted vim.
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 243 [topic] => 48 [informant] => ruby1987 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
Found Who I Am

Contributed by ruby1987 on Saturday, 4th October 2003 @ 07:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



It feels as if I have been sitting here gazing into oblivion nearly all my life. When in actual fact I have only been here in this house for one painful hour, after several years.
I sit still, still as the night. Everything else keeps on moving but in this moment I am paralysed, suppressed my all my childish fears. Outside I can hear the tired engines of old and overworked cars moaning and groaning like a pregnant women giving birth to her over due baby. And as high-pitched as a Banshee’s scream the tires of those cars set my ears to bleed as they hurdle down the street. The road is black as an ocean robbed of its jewels in the depths of Hell, with its waves of blood lapping fresh bones to shore.
I sit here in my grandfather’s room that looks exactly as it was when I was a child. I think hard and long about how far I have come with out him or anyone. But I do not understand that if he had to leave then why doesn’t he just leave because his presence still lingers here and will not leave me alone. His face it haunts, my once happy dreams. I can still hear his voice it chases away all the sanity in me like a bird set free never to return again. I’m totally desolate drowning in despair deafened by losing him.
The room closes in on me like I’m in an Indiana Jones film. I struggle to breathe as my memories surround me like a mob of bullies throwing stones at me. I run and run down the hallway into my childhood sanctuary. I lock the door to keep my memories out just like the grizzly monsters in the back of my wardrobe. I breathe in and out, recovering from the torture of my vignettes of happiness that now haunt me.
As I wade around nervously the memories catch up with me, like a hurricane they shake every bone in me. I rush in a hurricane of my own towards the window and yank it up. And through my closed eyes I suddenly see clearest and understand what was. In all my red I see a white dove flutter past and I wonder if the artist is a sad man, I wonder if the artist is a mad man, but he takes my cold hand and leads me into this place. In the distance I hear voices, the music of what was and past choices. Dust to diamond I feel brand new and able to cope with the ambivalent past, the unexpected present and the untold and unseen future.
In hope of new I bathe my streets in neon lite. I finally fall into him, fall into love, fall into true. I spiral down the mountains of castles built in my head, cascading visions of him, visions of red swelled in blue. My lack of perfection feeds my self-rejection and I create reason I can’t have him.
I finally fall into it; I finally fall into him into love, with what I can’t have and can loose I finally fall and learn how to handle endless pain and endless love. I fall and accept the past as a precious gift that was always destined to be mine just like the house my grand father left me over ten years ago. With what he left me I found who I am, what I was afraid of and how I feel now.
Crooked eye twisted vim.




Copyright © ruby1987 ... [ 2003-10-04 07:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





Advertisments:






Previous Posted Poem         | |         Next Posted Poem


 
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.
Re: Found Who I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by norticus on Saturday, 4th October 2003 @ 11:12:36 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
One of the things I like about poetry is the ease and speed of reading it. Refinement is the fire in which good poetry is forged. 2.6 on the Nortiscale.


Re: Found Who I Am (User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 8th November 2003 @ 05:04:11 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
this is amazing! I love how you have expressed all your fears of your childhood prevoked by your grandfathers house. and it so gratifying when you find why the way you feel and how you are able to love someone that might refuse you. purely amazing. 10 out of 10.
Howard Woodrow




While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com