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Array
(
[sid] => 23787
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Ya Sorry Sack of Doggie Doo!!!
[time] => 2003-09-25 08:35:00
[hometext] => wrote this a while ago never showed it to anyone, but it seems to fit in my life now, after a fight I had with my best friend. let me know what u think.
[bodytext] => Of all the spineless things you could do, My life is falling apart at the seams, Yet all you can think of is poor you, Well you are not the only one with problems, I said I MIGHT be able to talk later, You took it personally. I wish you could understand, I work hard, Keeping the things I dont mean from my lips, Still you think you know all about me, That what I say and do has some sinister meaning, That I want to bring you down. Heres some news, I have a life, Imagine that!! I have financial responsibilities, Family responsibilities, I have to take care of these things, They wont go away if I ignore them, Since the very start of our friendship, I have always respected your space, If you wanted to be alone, Or just didnt feel like being in my company, I was understanding, I know that times can be rough, But the moment that I need space, I am ignoring you, You cant seem to be understanding. The simplest things I say, Evolve into insults, The piece of myself that I gave you, Mutated into something grotesque, Not because of what it was, Because your sleazy girlfriend didnt like it, And you kindly blame me for all she has done. For you, I sucked up every ounce of pride I have, I not only apologized but I groveled and begged, Now I wonder what I wanted your forgiveness for, Did I want your forgivness for yelling at me, Maybe for letting you attack me and everything I believe in, Perhaps for accepting wordlessly your half of the blame, possibly for letting you make me feel worthless, That every thought that emerges from my head is wrong, Do I need you to forgive me for loving you, For wishing nothing but the best ever happen to you, For being the ultamate submissive in our friendship, Maybe I need forgiveness for crying a week straight for you, Not even stopping during my sleep. You have to stop pretending, How can you think nothing you did was wrong, That all the blame lies with me, Its painful when you just try to make me feel bad, Almost as if you are saying, I do not deserve an apology, That I should be burned alive, For even thinking that I might need one, Well you can keep your forgiveness. 'Cus guess what darlin', I am worth more than that, I dont deserve the way you run for the hills, Whenever I come close, I cant believe that you have lost trust in me, Yet you think I should have complete Undying trust for you, I hope you enjoyed the pain you have caused me, Because it is the last that you will ever have from me, I hate you, You are less than a man, Less than scum, You deserve every ounce of hurt that you receive, I can't believe I once called you friend, Can't believe I confided the deepest parts of my soul to you. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 215 [topic] => 6 [informant] => Kalika [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )
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