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always

Contributed by Cancer on Friday, 19th September 2003 @ 11:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



i don't know what to tell you
why i'm still here, i cannot say
tried suicide
failed several times
guess i'll always be in the way

gave up trying to make a difference
silently slipped through the cracks
i'm no fool, learned my lesson fast
it will always be this way
always

always feel so ***** cold inside
always feel like some part of me has died
always alone, left to die
always, they say, "don't give up. try again"
always i wonder "why?"

every reason, both big and small
just seems like so much ***** now
Nothing matters, nothing can make it worthwhile
censor myself so they'll stop staring at me
i am so ***** sick of them staring at me

slit my wrists to feed The Machine
fat from buried hopes and cremated dreams
still i remain, still feel the pain
stabbing the one who birthed me
damning her for this curse

frustration like i've never known
borne of futility's mocking smile
constant repetition, constant repetition
this is surely Hell
a realm of further tortures cannot exist

and even the brightest stars, burn for Nothing
and the sun never sets on the sorrow
that Meaning's absence has wrought
chasing stray bullets and drunk drivers
something's got to give

so used to lying, hiding
that i don't know if i've lost it yet
buried myself so deep inside
i can't even tell if i've snapped
this semblance of sanity, just a hardened mask

chinked armor shows torn flesh
i'm bleeding, but never dying
traveling the predictable circle
of "close calls" that are never close enough
i fight to die and always lose

i'll always be so cold inside
i'll always live inside this lie
always alone, damned to never die
always staring at the sky
endless well of tears, flooding my eyes
so hollow inside, even fake when i cry
always, they say, "don't give up. you've gotta try"
always be here and i don't know why




Copyright © Cancer ... [ 2003-09-19 11:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: always (User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on Friday, 19th September 2003 @ 11:46:06 AM AEST
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this spewed drivel is good my friend.....
fat from buried hopes and cremated dreams....... yes!!!!


Re: always (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Friday, 19th September 2003 @ 02:33:29 PM AEST
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borne of futility's mocking smile I loved that line so much. This was so good and so sad I could feel tear's welling up. This is awesome as always. Loved it man!

Bobo (Joel)




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