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Array ( [sid] => 21970 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => grandma ate god [time] => 2003-08-16 13:05:00 [hometext] => a story of sorts that kept running through my head. certainly one of my stranger ones. enjoy. [bodytext] => grandma ate god
i know what you're thinking
that's a lot to swallow (pardon the pun)
but my grandma DID eat god
then she went back to baking her cookies

i stood, mouth agape
as astounded as anyone in my position would be
she didn't seem to notice
just hummed softly as she set the cookies in the oven

i asked her why
what possessed her to eat god
she was always such a devout god-fearing woman
she sighed softly and told me that
lately, she hadn't been very impressed
with the way god was running things
all the wars and poverty
all the malice around the world
the murders, the rapes, the whole mess
it just didn't seem like god cared anymore
and she thought someone ought to do something about it
so she decided to eat god
he would pass through her system in a day or two
and then she would place him back on his throne
no harm done

she figured that
after he had to go through a little *****, literally
(those were grandma's exact words)
that he'd be a bit more sympathetic
to the ***** we have endured under his "flawless" rule

by then the cookies were done
she took them out and let them cool a bit
and then gave me a plateful and a glass of milk
and as i chewed thoughtfully on my cookie
i stared at my grandma
5'2, 110lbs dripping wet
and thought about the god in her stomach
confused, scared, alone
about to be digested and dropped
into a literal pile of *****

and i couldn't help but smile [comments] => 7 [counter] => 447 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Cancer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

grandma ate god

Contributed by Cancer on Saturday, 16th August 2003 @ 01:05:00 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

grandma ate god
i know what you're thinking
that's a lot to swallow (pardon the pun)
but my grandma DID eat god
then she went back to baking her cookies

i stood, mouth agape
as astounded as anyone in my position would be
she didn't seem to notice
just hummed softly as she set the cookies in the oven

i asked her why
what possessed her to eat god
she was always such a devout god-fearing woman
she sighed softly and told me that
lately, she hadn't been very impressed
with the way god was running things
all the wars and poverty
all the malice around the world
the murders, the rapes, the whole mess
it just didn't seem like god cared anymore
and she thought someone ought to do something about it
so she decided to eat god
he would pass through her system in a day or two
and then she would place him back on his throne
no harm done

she figured that
after he had to go through a little *****, literally
(those were grandma's exact words)
that he'd be a bit more sympathetic
to the ***** we have endured under his "flawless" rule

by then the cookies were done
she took them out and let them cool a bit
and then gave me a plateful and a glass of milk
and as i chewed thoughtfully on my cookie
i stared at my grandma
5'2, 110lbs dripping wet
and thought about the god in her stomach
confused, scared, alone
about to be digested and dropped
into a literal pile of *****

and i couldn't help but smile

Copyright © Cancer ... [ 2003-08-16 13:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: grandma ate god (User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on Saturday, 16th August 2003 @ 02:46:53 PM AEST
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Ah, I laugh. Nice humorous story.

Re: grandma ate god (User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 16th August 2003 @ 07:30:26 PM AEST
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im laughing too, but not bcoz the poem is funny ,no , im laughing at U , coz u sound very silly with this sensless poem!
it sux ,really :)

Re: grandma ate god (User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on Saturday, 16th August 2003 @ 08:03:08 PM AEST
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omg....i loved it......reminds me of my great aunt peg.......she'd do somethin' like that!!!!

Re: grandma ate god (User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on Saturday, 16th August 2003 @ 09:32:03 PM AEST
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Excellent poem, laughed till my sides split and still laughing.
a very humous and sorta dark poem, well for anyone that is religous I guess they'd find it dark lol.

Re: grandma ate god (User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on Saturday, 16th August 2003 @ 09:34:28 PM AEST
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Excellent poem, laughed till my sides split and still laughing.
a very humous and sorta dark poem, well for anyone that is religous I guess they'd find it dark lol.

Re: grandma ate god (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Sunday, 17th August 2003 @ 10:56:44 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

oh wow! soooooo excellent!! roflmao! i love this!! yay grama:) hugs n' love nessa

Re: grandma ate god (User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on Monday, 18th August 2003 @ 09:01:14 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

haha... wierd but funny... :)

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