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(
[sid] => 21924
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => The ballad of Lechers End.
[time] => 2003-08-15 07:45:00
[hometext] => A "spoof" to the tune of the old 1960's cowboy ballad
"Ghost riders in the sky"
If you know the ballad and it's background rhythm of horses hooves at a fast canter you can add it in along the dotted lines for dramatic efffect.
"diddle dum didddle dum diddlediddledidlle dum" ( Changing later )
The setting is England, circa 1950's
[bodytext] => Within a farming village dwelt, a lecherous young "blade"...................
Intent on the seduction, of every fair young maid.....................
The farmers gathered secretly to formulate a plan,
how they could put an end to
..................................................
the "ways" of this young man
They had to think of something quick, the time was drawing nigh.............................
It was the end of summer, the wheat was standing high.............................
Soon he would be a'coaxing their daughters there to "play"
and then concealed within the crop
............................................
he'd have his "wicked way"
The farmers had come up with, a very simple plan..................................
They fashioned it with cunning, as only farmers can.........................
As soon as the two lovers were, pre-occupied with sin
They'd "put the wheels in motion"
.................................
And let the "fun" begin
The farmers daughter Masie, had dressed herself with care...............................
She'd planned a "meeting" with "The Blade"
and took time to prepare...............................
The wheat was standing ripe and tall affording them good cover
She wondered would this be the day
.....................................................
he would become her lover.
They settled in the wheatfield,intent upon their "play"..............................
"The Blade"was just beginning, to have his "wicked way"..................................
When all at once a mighty combine harvester they saw
a'cutting the perimeter
chug chugger chug chuggerchuggerchugger chug
and spewing bales of straw.
Masie's father was the driver, his eyes were red with flame............................
"The bastards in there somewhere, but we'll stop his little game...............................
We got two shotguns covering, each side of uncut wheat"
It seemed like death was close at hand
chug chugger chug chuggerchuggerchugger chug
about two hundred feet.
As the combine drove around him, now on it's seventh lap..........................................
The crop was getting smaller, and wider grew the gap...............................
To make a break for safety, he'd have to leg it fast
about a hundred paces
chug chugger chug chuggerchuggerchugger chug
any one could be his last.
He finally decided he'd, already left it late
and breaking from his cover, he sprinted for the gate....................................
A bolt of fear went through him as they sighted for the kill
although his legs were moving fast
Pat pitty pat pittypittypitty pat
The shot was faster still.
(Slower and with feeling)
His heart was beating slower, his sight was growing dim--------
And as he turned to breath his last, the thought occurred to him---------
"They may have crops in heaven" so he made himself a pledge
Up there he'd pick a safer spot
Sigh gentle sigh gentle gentle gentle sigh
a bit nearer the hedge.
[comments] => 14
[counter] => 207
[topic] => 31
[informant] => wrybod
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => StoryPoetry
)
The ballad of Lechers End.
Contributed by
wrybod
on
Friday, 15th August 2003 @ 07:45:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
Within a farming village dwelt, a lecherous young "blade"...................
Intent on the seduction, of every fair young maid.....................
The farmers gathered secretly to formulate a plan,
how they could put an end to
..................................................
the "ways" of this young man
They had to think of something quick, the time was drawing nigh.............................
It was the end of summer, the wheat was standing high.............................
Soon he would be a'coaxing their daughters there to "play"
and then concealed within the crop
............................................
he'd have his "wicked way"
The farmers had come up with, a very simple plan..................................
They fashioned it with cunning, as only farmers can.........................
As soon as the two lovers were, pre-occupied with sin
They'd "put the wheels in motion"
.................................
And let the "fun" begin
The farmers daughter Masie, had dressed herself with care...............................
She'd planned a "meeting" with "The Blade"
and took time to prepare...............................
The wheat was standing ripe and tall affording them good cover
She wondered would this be the day
.....................................................
he would become her lover.
They settled in the wheatfield,intent upon their "play"..............................
"The Blade"was just beginning, to have his "wicked way"..................................
When all at once a mighty combine harvester they saw
a'cutting the perimeter
chug chugger chug chuggerchuggerchugger chug
and spewing bales of straw.
Masie's father was the driver, his eyes were red with flame............................
"The bastards in there somewhere, but we'll stop his little game...............................
We got two shotguns covering, each side of uncut wheat"
It seemed like death was close at hand
chug chugger chug chuggerchuggerchugger chug
about two hundred feet.
As the combine drove around him, now on it's seventh lap..........................................
The crop was getting smaller, and wider grew the gap...............................
To make a break for safety, he'd have to leg it fast
about a hundred paces
chug chugger chug chuggerchuggerchugger chug
any one could be his last.
He finally decided he'd, already left it late
and breaking from his cover, he sprinted for the gate....................................
A bolt of fear went through him as they sighted for the kill
although his legs were moving fast
Pat pitty pat pittypittypitty pat
The shot was faster still.
(Slower and with feeling)
His heart was beating slower, his sight was growing dim--------
And as he turned to breath his last, the thought occurred to him---------
"They may have crops in heaven" so he made himself a pledge
Up there he'd pick a safer spot
Sigh gentle sigh gentle gentle gentle sigh
a bit nearer the hedge.
Copyright ©
wrybod
... [
2003-08-15 07:45:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Friday, 15th August 2003 @ 09:13:20 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
OMG this is funny your killing me ok Iv got tears running down my eyes from laughing,thanks alot for running my mascara!! This fits perfectly with the ghost rider tune,great!!
(have you heard the one for halloween called ghost chickens?) Ill message it to ya it is funny but not as funny as this!! Leave it to a farmer to stop the sin lol I know they can!!
Michelle |
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Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Friday, 15th August 2003 @ 11:55:49 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Michelle, I'm so glad you enjoyed it, particularly that you knew the tune etc. etc.
if you ever do it as a "party piece" get someone else to do "the beats."
Here at "Spoofsdotcom " we do send out replacement kits...........mascara, facecream,etc
I don't know the chicken one, lookin' forward to your post
bob |
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Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Friday, 15th August 2003 @ 02:02:08 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
this was so well done especially with the music running through my head
thanks
Shari |
|
|
Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Friday, 15th August 2003 @ 03:53:44 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
One of my big worries was would younger people know t he tune. So glad you did and enjoyed it.
bob |
|
|
Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by norm on
Friday, 15th August 2003 @ 07:18:21 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Ol' Wrybod wields a mighty pen
No one's better in the Glen.
----------------------------------------
I for one, feel great dismay
for the Lecher Blade, today
I think back at my lurid past
Thru bedroom windows never last.
For if I was the last one out
buckshot sure would make me shout
Then indeed, instead a dieter,
I could be a real GHOST writer.
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Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Friday, 15th August 2003 @ 09:41:59 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| You're certainly a talent ... this was great ... I loved it - especially to the music ... Jan |
|
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Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Saturday, 16th August 2003 @ 02:07:38 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Bravo.. very well done..quite entertaining and rhythmic.. venkat |
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Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Saturday, 16th August 2003 @ 02:14:00 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Competely drained by all the strain
of writing ballads full of pain
but cheered in spirit once again
by normans' clever comic strain
It seems the lad has also been there
his quick escapes could not be cleaner
he lived to fight another day
and still has lots more words to say.
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Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by POOBEAR on
Monday, 18th August 2003 @ 11:54:06 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hi,
This is so great! I have to thank you
because I really needed a good laugh!
Your talent is amazing to me because
you can write about so many deep topics
and still have a great sense of humor.
your friend,
POOBEAR |
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Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Monday, 18th August 2003 @ 12:59:42 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I've always had the knack of witing rhymes from my schooldays and now that I've been around quite a few years I've widened my scope a bit.
You're not so bad yourself at being origional and contoversial. I'm so glad to have discovered your page it makes a pleasant change from so much on YPDC that I really can't follow. This is not a criricism of those writers just a confession that Old Wrybod hasn't moved with the times and the new style "expressiveness."(language and spelling) |
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Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Monday, 18th August 2003 @ 01:07:23 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Yes the drama is all in the tune and the rhythm if you know it. Glad you enjoyed it. |
|
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Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Monday, 18th August 2003 @ 01:11:57 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| The Origional "Ghost Riders in the Sky" was very popular pre-pop groups. |
|
|
Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Merry on
Monday, 1st December 2003 @ 05:40:38 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this is really great - very talented
a clever story and set to music as well - you're good!!!!
merry |
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Re: The ballad of Lechers End.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th February 2004 @ 07:36:00 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| classic. |
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