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Array ( [sid] => 21790 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => If I could ever go back [time] => 2003-08-12 07:05:00 [hometext] => please comment on my poem it is what I want to be. Please read and comment on my poetry I love to hear what people think. [bodytext] => Rainbows butterflys peace signs they all fill my eyes, a shadow I am hidden beneath won't let me shine my vibe
Desperate, delirious willing to try something new, can you give me what I'm looking for, just a little deliverance of my spirit
Music writes poem actions maybe a little distraction to get my peace life going
I can't get started with an afterglow in my head
what am I getting started....I thought it was a road I was walking down a road that leads to hippie town, it never took me there if you want to know....no it took me to a 1987 road
With all my care and all my might I want so much to go back in time
with rainbows butterflys and peace signs filling my eyes [comments] => 4 [counter] => 169 [topic] => 31 [informant] => knowWhat_kind [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => StoryPoetry )

If I could ever go back

Contributed by knowWhat_kind on Tuesday, 12th August 2003 @ 07:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic: StoryPoetry

Rainbows butterflys peace signs they all fill my eyes, a shadow I am hidden beneath won't let me shine my vibe
Desperate, delirious willing to try something new, can you give me what I'm looking for, just a little deliverance of my spirit
Music writes poem actions maybe a little distraction to get my peace life going
I can't get started with an afterglow in my head
what am I getting started....I thought it was a road I was walking down a road that leads to hippie town, it never took me there if you want to know....no it took me to a 1987 road
With all my care and all my might I want so much to go back in time
with rainbows butterflys and peace signs filling my eyes

Copyright Â© knowWhat_kind ... [ 2003-08-12 07:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: If I could ever go back (User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on Tuesday, 12th August 2003 @ 07:39:55 AM AEST
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this has a really cool vibe to it....

Re: If I could ever go back (User Rating: 1 )
by garyh on Tuesday, 12th August 2003 @ 07:57:11 AM AEST
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hmmm.... maybe try to put a rhythm to it, and try to make stanzas/lines... don't just write it like a paragraph.... poetry is not only just emotions... but also about rhythm...

so if i sounded harsh... but i just wanted you to know... because many people don't like reading things like this... please fix it and repost it....

Re: If I could ever go back (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Tuesday, 12th August 2003 @ 08:00:59 PM AEST
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close you eyes
go back in time
light a candle
write a rhyme,

hugs n' love nessa

Re: If I could ever go back (User Rating: 1 )
by CrucifiedAndLeft2Die on Wednesday, 14th January 2004 @ 11:02:06 PM AEST
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this was cool, oh how i wish i could go back into time too...if I figure out how I’ll let you know ok. Smiles.

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