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Array ( [sid] => 21542 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => Slipping Under [time] => 2003-08-06 17:25:00 [hometext] => * I just wrote this now I think it sucks, but w/e. Read it and tell me what you think* [bodytext] => I'm standing here
Holding my heart
And screaming at the top of my lungs
The pain drives me to the edge
And pushes me into insanity

I cry until the tears soak me
I give until I'm spent
And there isn't an ounce left
I'm trying and striving to pull myself out
But I'm falling under and everything looks bleak

I'm whispering things to myself
They make no sense to me,
But they make me cry
I'm not sure of who I am
Just scared of the voices echoing within

I stare at my hands
Their shaking, shaking... shaking
I'm trying to tear out my hair
To get at the voices
I'm slipping under the waves
No matter how much I struggle...
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 172 [topic] => 32 [informant] => bobotheclown [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 6 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

Slipping Under

Contributed by bobotheclown on Wednesday, 6th August 2003 @ 05:25:00 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

I'm standing here
Holding my heart
And screaming at the top of my lungs
The pain drives me to the edge
And pushes me into insanity

I cry until the tears soak me
I give until I'm spent
And there isn't an ounce left
I'm trying and striving to pull myself out
But I'm falling under and everything looks bleak

I'm whispering things to myself
They make no sense to me,
But they make me cry
I'm not sure of who I am
Just scared of the voices echoing within

I stare at my hands
Their shaking, shaking... shaking
I'm trying to tear out my hair
To get at the voices
I'm slipping under the waves
No matter how much I struggle...

Copyright © bobotheclown ... [ 2003-08-06 17:25:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Slipping Under (User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on Wednesday, 6th August 2003 @ 06:47:59 PM AEST
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this was a far cry from "sucking".....this was honest...........real.........and painful.........been there!!! "I'm whispering things........"
*******N" WOW!!!!!! good job!!

Re: Slipping Under (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Thursday, 7th August 2003 @ 12:25:41 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

joel, i love this poem, it is vivid and clearly you make me feel and see......... the part about holding your heart is very chilling and strong:) hugs n' love nessa

Re: Slipping Under (User Rating: 1 )
by Jason_Robert_Britt on Wednesday, 13th August 2003 @ 06:34:40 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This doesn't suck... it's not your best, but it doesn't suck... every poem can't be the same...every poem can't be your best... just let the emotion flow and it will be authentic... got me? Good write.

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