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Array
(
[sid] => 21133
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => why can't i die?
[time] => 2003-07-28 11:35:00
[hometext] => a bit long. another old one. examining the reason that i never died, despite the fact that i should have so many times.
[bodytext] => i am not human so what am i i feel so dead so maybe i am human just not alive a non-cannibalistic zombie awaiting release my gait is a death march all words merely translate to a howl for nourishment an insaitable hunger i cannot identify and what is there to fear when Death is a lover of the past so many guises lay in the past cluttering my path obscuring morphing so often searching for an image to satisfy finding only disappointment for i've never seen myself in a coffin i belong Dead it explains so much why each time i should have died i escaped how long have i lingered lifeless here where i don't belong do others know? how long will this damnation last? how many lovers will i see burnt or buried? why? i pierce with the bullet i slice madly with the razor i devour pills like a demon in a putrid pool of souls and still i remain drowning leaving no trace no photograph no written word no nostalgic memorabilia to revive the memory of an undying thing i'll walk into your ocean and inhale the liquid woe swallowed by your inner turmoil sinking to the floor of your mind to chat with every ghost it was you all along you are the reason Death denied me our predetermined kinship insisted upon my existence Dead or Alive with this knowledge i commit my final suicide looking into your burning eyes i whisper, "i don't love you anymore" in my head, i hear worlds collapse and the soft tear of my heart breaking you turn your back to me and i smile as i feel Death's hand slipping 'round mine taking me away i'm sorry [comments] => 4 [counter] => 142 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Cancer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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