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Array
(
[sid] => 21131
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => No Title
[time] => 2003-07-28 10:35:00
[hometext] => one of my older scrawls. lament over my wife's confusion of my need for violence in love.
[bodytext] => she doesn't understand and i doubt she ever will what compels me to search for violence in love she has no clue what he did to me i truly regret not telling her sooner for now, i know i never can i just wish that, if only once, i could drag her down the Corridors of my Memories throw open the doors and let her watch as i have, so many times (all i've ever been able to do is watch) violence is simply ingrained in me it is my life's blood Hatred, my skin, a hardened shell my heart is just a hollow chamber composed of ancient rage i hate myself for not stopping him or the others, i suppose but it was he who "broke me in" then, he just broke me so often i wonder what/who i would be had things gone differently always the same conclusion "it doesn't matter" Nothing Does all of these questions are just ways to kill time before i kill myself conceal the scars "if you tell, i'll kill you" swallow it all "i'm doin' this cuz i love you" he just let me bleed "you look so pretty like that" i can't believe i trusted him "you were meant to be a gril" i am what he made me "go on, scream, no one can hear you" and no one ever will [comments] => 2 [counter] => 166 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Cancer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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