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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 17:25:25 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 21112
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Untitled
[time] => 2003-07-28 01:05:00
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Things are so out of control but, tell me that I don't like it this way and your wrong. I crave things to be disorder, I'm self destructive I've said it before To think I could be falling for someone is so outside me and I can't help wondering if I am pushing to hard. Not on him, he loves me. I know this My stomach is mush it lives by my heart now, and that is so like me. So like me to rush and to spend and to live in a moment only to regret that I didn't take my time later. There isn't a later here. Here lives only my brain and it doesn't tell time. It only sees eternity as one day. So many things and only one day Do I live now? Don't philosopher's say, "Live for Today?" Am I not living the easy life. Everything is free except my soul. I want to know endless sunshine and meet God. My dreams are high and my expectations are low. Is there a difference between too many risks and just not taking enough? God, I feel like I have been sitting in a hole, holding my breath, and waiting for a digger to find me and relish in his discovery. I'm so ***** up beautiful that I don't know what to do. He sees me and he can't stand it. The smile I think is what kills him. I could say anything. Dare I tell him that I lack any moral whatsoever? I do and he just laughs. He thinks I joke and I do but, I am all to serious. He tells me I am cute that in life I am so confident but, in my own head I am so self conscience and then he will kiss me. I bite him because I want to hurt him for being so nice and because I want to bring things down to my level. Where sex is fun and what happens in the bedroom is like a different world. So like myself. That I would take something beautiful, something that could possibly save me and put it in another world. Honestly a world where I can be myself but, still a different world all together. The bedroom. My heart is heavy. I cannot wait for tomorrow. That's not like me at all. When was the last time I couldn't wait for tomorrow. I am contradicting myself like crazy. I am crazy. Denial is beneath me now. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 163 [topic] => 48 [informant] => alisialynn [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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