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Array
(
[sid] => 20942
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => SHE WALKS WITH HATRED
[time] => 2003-07-25 04:05:00
[hometext] => I can only remember back to the age of 3, and from then until the night I graduated from high school I was a battered child, which means I was hurt physically from the beatings. I tried so hard to understand? I barely survived. This poem is in memory of those that did not, nor may not even today! There is a child, that is being abused every 8 minutes, somewhere in the USA!! Can you just imagine how many there are all over the world?
[bodytext] => She walks with hatred! Permeated with evil dread! Tortured unreasoning soul. Harsh, determined movements, without control! Power worn like a crown! Curtsey to the Queen, bow down! Jewels expensively adorned in pain! Like Royalty enthroned. Permission granted, to reign! She smiles while torturing! Her victims see a possession of unnatural being! Flashing "Fits of Anger!" Victims hold breathe for long periods to endure! An artist with beautiful creative hands. Her slaps about the face are hard to stand! Strangling enforced on the floor! A head is shook, crashing through the window of back door! Abuses every living day! Victim thinking this is the "right-way!" Locked in small bathroom. Piercing screams of futility! Prison of doom! Only peaceful solitude..... Amidst terror and strife! Beloved old dog "Tag." Comforting, listening ears. Hugs and kisses, understanding eyes. Always encouraging endurance and hope! Love never denies! Cold basement bedroom. Hidden in cement, with very little light! Active imagination, Frozen with fear and fright! Climbing up wooden stairs. Finding no one at home. Life as a small child, Abandoned all alone! Always crying, but never dying..... "A secret wish I held for relief!" No one cared, no comforter to be found! Not even expected, 'Twas never a belief! A nurse by trade, Deals with bouts of sickness. Opportunities for torture, no less. Enema bags held high above! Forced to lie naked in cold hard bathtub! I was told this is "Love!" This is NOT love!!! "Soapy water," released. Sounds of gushing, rushing, over my head, like a broken dam. Bowels swelling, filling fast! Begging moans, "This cannot last!" No compassion for my fate! "Rub your tummy, there's more to take!" Painful, embarrassing. Hard, not to hate!!! Older brother, their partner in crime. Tattling lies, believed. I was reduced to "Swine!" Complete innocence, he raped too! Cold cement bedroom, "Doesn't that feel good to you!" Reporting his crime to my Dad. Was told, "I wish you'd never been born!" He cared less that I'd been had! Withdrawing from their horror.... Slowly learning not to feel! My heart a closed door! My days drag as the years fly by. Never understanding, nor, knowing the reason why? The Queen was soon replaced by the King! Beatings with belts!!! Soon learned not to feel anything! His message was quite clear, with each whack! Lessons in "How to Hate!" Shocking morbidity, no lack! Somehow my "Spirit" went untouched. Determined to stay kind, and loving very much! My Senior year my last beating takes place. Late at night, motel kitchen, more belt to face! Gravely injured, couldn't walk! "You're just being stubborn! You're a liar, 'tis only a balk!!" Operations soon to follow. "Cost estimates," brings strong bellow! Hated all my life, because I was born! Deep Melancholy, often times forlorn!! The King succumbs to death. Kissing his cold bald head, there's no breath. Going through the motions, No feelings of sorrow, Perhaps they will surface, maybe tomorrow? His casket lowered into a cold cement site. Like my basement bedroom, without any light! Still no feelings of revenge, nor of love. There'll be no judging from me. "Twill come from above! Alzheimer's engulfed the Queen's mind!" No recogntion of me could she find. She still cried when she should have smiled. She still loved, when she should have reviled! Brother's hatred intensified! Gained "Power of Attorney," Had me and my children disinherited, and lied! Did I want their money? No Indeed! Money can't love you, or comfort you, when one's in need! Still learning how to love. How to be compassionate, kind, and feel!!! A lifetime of learning never done! It took me fifty years to realize....... These very sick people, my family have not won! I managed to survive it all! Their suffering has just begun! A prayer for all of those that have been abused, And for all of those that are being abused now. May Our Loving Heavenly Creator place you in his right pocket and hold you tight, until the day comes when he will make it all right, for in His Kingdom, all abusers will be gone! Created by Cheri Cam LeBren April 2003 [comments] => 7 [counter] => 286 [topic] => 32 [informant] => lovingcritters [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )
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