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Array ( [sid] => 19805 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => Alone I sit [time] => 2003-07-02 04:05:00 [hometext] => ...well...I don't actually know where this came from...but It brings a strong message somewhere...don't hide... [bodytext] => Alone I sit
Mind shot, Body Trembling
Fingers uneasy
hair scrambled
eyes pouring
oozzing with salty tears
skin pale, white, and barely alive
begging to breath
Alone I sit
with fear I may be found
watching, watching
eyes still watery, and wet
I grab a knife from a near by window sill
and crawl into a corner
Alone I sit
I peek at my reflection
what is that shiny piece of glass
taunting me, teasing me
why does it verbally abuse me?
there i go again messing up everything
the words don't come to me anymore
and the pain inside has become to intense
I cried all I can cry.
and I am starting to dry.
Alone I sit
knife in hand
deciphering anything in this mind
has become impossible
I hold out my arm
as if I have done something wrong
I pull up my sleeve
the knife strikes only once, deep and exact
and I can't feel my insides anymore
They leak onto the floor
and I am glad for them to finally leave
the pain inside is numbed
Blood begins to gush
and the cut is sore and weak
but it doesn't hurt
"I'm like a rock...dead inside"
and only the surface can be scratched
until I break
Alone I sit
"hunnie, are you okay?"
"yes, mom." [comments] => 2 [counter] => 229 [topic] => 36 [informant] => Jilli_Bean [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

Alone I sit

Contributed by Jilli_Bean on Wednesday, 2nd July 2003 @ 04:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

Alone I sit
Mind shot, Body Trembling
Fingers uneasy
hair scrambled
eyes pouring
oozzing with salty tears
skin pale, white, and barely alive
begging to breath
Alone I sit
with fear I may be found
watching, watching
eyes still watery, and wet
I grab a knife from a near by window sill
and crawl into a corner
Alone I sit
I peek at my reflection
what is that shiny piece of glass
taunting me, teasing me
why does it verbally abuse me?
there i go again messing up everything
the words don't come to me anymore
and the pain inside has become to intense
I cried all I can cry.
and I am starting to dry.
Alone I sit
knife in hand
deciphering anything in this mind
has become impossible
I hold out my arm
as if I have done something wrong
I pull up my sleeve
the knife strikes only once, deep and exact
and I can't feel my insides anymore
They leak onto the floor
and I am glad for them to finally leave
the pain inside is numbed
Blood begins to gush
and the cut is sore and weak
but it doesn't hurt
"I'm like a rock...dead inside"
and only the surface can be scratched
until I break
Alone I sit
"hunnie, are you okay?"
"yes, mom."

Copyright © Jilli_Bean ... [ 2003-07-02 04:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Alone I sit (User Rating: 1 )
by afraid_of_fear on Wednesday, 2nd July 2003 @ 12:27:53 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

ouch - this is so deep, and the pain and hurt you described are very intense.. really good poem..
x_x_x

Re: Alone I sit (User Rating: 1 )
by stargazer on Thursday, 10th July 2003 @ 09:54:48 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

The words... they are not coming to me to describe what is running through my head as I read that poem. I read it over and over again Jillian... I have too many people, too close to me attempt this and it makes me wonder.. "why?" I wish I could take away their pain but I am only human and that upsets me.

"hunnie, are you okay?"
"yes, mom." >>>>> That I believe, is the strongest message in the poem. That is what drew me in... that is what shed my first tear. That tells... everything. The lying, the truth... the fact that, you can't over come it.

That was amazing Jillian, you have you have an incredible gift. Don't let it go to waste.

-Amy

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