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Array
(
[sid] => 18498
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => waste
[time] => 2003-06-03 18:05:00
[hometext] => something i wrote last night...one of those poems where you don't think about the rhymes or words...you just write the hurt out...
[bodytext] => worthless and ruined and left to die look at her, that disgusting, snivelling creature on my bed watch her scream and cry her filthy tears somehow I got lost inside my pitiful, self-centred head and it’s killing me broke my own wings so I couldn’t hurt anyone else with my pathetic attempts to fly locked my own door and threw away the key so no one would have to look at my disgusting face and tortured body wrote stories on my skin so I could own something that would never leave me but even those are fading wasted what little life I had shouldn’t have wasted your precious hours on me always pretending you liked me what a joke but you don’t have to lie anymore, i know the truth no one could love me, not even myself turn away my mirrors, can’t stand what I see please, don’t try and touch me i don’t want to give you my disease and make you dirty, like me look at her, that filthy, pathetic wretch praying on her bed, praying for a salvation that will never come she doesn’t deserve that why is she even trying? how stupid she looks, how weak and small what a disgusting sight lock your doors so she can’t contaminate your house and ruin your life everything she touches turns to s*** what a waste of a girl waste of time and space waste of a body that could have been the next Einstein or the world’s fastest runner throw her mutilated being in a pit where even the darkness can’t reach her lock her somewhere no one will see her ugly face again she isn’t worthy of a grave and i’m sorry i’m sorry for the life I never lived sorry for wasting your precious time on the useless, pathetic nothing i am trying to convince me i am something i am not i’m sorry i can’t do anything right i’m sorry i don’t even know how to die properly i’m sorry i keep writing this stupid poetry, threatening to end my life and then never doing it and I am so sorry for using up your beautiful moments crying and drowning in my self-pity and making you watch, as another part of my life slowly fades away into the nothing i’ve become [comments] => 8 [counter] => 255 [topic] => 13 [informant] => wyrd_faerie [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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