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Array ( [sid] => 184855 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Oh No, Not me [time] => 2018-02-10 19:59:42 [hometext] => [bodytext] => My bride to be
Ran away to marry me
I was too blind to see
What she had in-store for me
She blew me a kiss
I ducked and she missed
She tried to get me to walk down the aisle
But I was to busy pulling up my argyles
Her family all admired my suit
When I set it down they picked its pockets for loot
They proclaimed I was a handsome man
And they all were my fans
In the end they twisted my arms
Begging me to cry uncle was their plan
They all wanted me in their clan
Mistakenly thinking I was the man
But when it came time to wed
I escaped and ran off to bed
But they soon followed me
On my face they had seen there was no glee
Not even jubilant delight
Only young school boy fright
I was not the man they thought I/'/d be
But in the end they did not care
They grabbed me by the hair and soon I was there
Time stood still all the while
As they dragged me down the aisle
Those big lips did come my way
And soon I knew, today was not gonna be my day [comments] => 4 [counter] => 101 [topic] => 7 [informant] => jamesstockdale [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )

Oh No, Not me

Contributed by jamesstockdale on Saturday, 10th February 2018 @ 07:59:42 PM in AEST
Topic: HumorPoetry

My bride to be
Ran away to marry me
I was too blind to see
What she had in-store for me
She blew me a kiss
I ducked and she missed
She tried to get me to walk down the aisle
But I was to busy pulling up my argyles
Her family all admired my suit
When I set it down they picked its pockets for loot
They proclaimed I was a handsome man
And they all were my fans
In the end they twisted my arms
Begging me to cry uncle was their plan
They all wanted me in their clan
Mistakenly thinking I was the man
But when it came time to wed
I escaped and ran off to bed
But they soon followed me
On my face they had seen there was no glee
Not even jubilant delight
Only young school boy fright
I was not the man they thought I/'/d be
But in the end they did not care
They grabbed me by the hair and soon I was there
Time stood still all the while
As they dragged me down the aisle
Those big lips did come my way
And soon I knew, today was not gonna be my day

Copyright © jamesstockdale ... [ 2018-02-10 19:59:42]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Oh No, Not me (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 11th February 2018 @ 06:43:02 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I was adrift as a young man
too worried was I about being kidnapped
and abruptly claimed by any kind of falsehood
called love that never paid even any ounce of
dirt, they called TARA,
She took me during the day you see
to the old movie house where they played
Gone with the wind, kicking and screaming,
one of sisters did. I was not like Rhett
I was never going to be one of Scarlet/'/s hopeless
suitors neither.
I would never heal to the gestapo or to any Stalin-like
secret gulag story of love
they do not like dogs in places like the gulag
my dogged ears thought better
To remain poor and aloof
then to be straddled with pain and fear
You see I was not Buck, I never
was Buck.
But I always knew this coming as I did
from a broken home with all these sisters
who taught me about this thing
they call love.
I never had to crawl for love.
And it was never distant---
It twas a complete whiteout
Savage Eskimos with Anthony Quinn
Atanarjuat: The Fast Runner

In the back of a young mans mind
In the back of the church
where a couple of your friends might
have sat--- who knows ...
Peace!

Re: Oh No, Not me (User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on Sunday, 11th February 2018 @ 08:51:38 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

How funny! Pulling up your argyles indeed!
Were we ever that young?
A tale of a shotgun wedding without the shotgun!
Thank you for sharing your delightful story!
softerware

Re: Oh No, Not me (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Sunday, 18th February 2018 @ 05:30:58 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Good work and funny
Blessings
emy

Re: Oh No, Not me (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 29th August 2020 @ 06:44:49 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

//Oh, man, too fah-nee!!!!

Thank you,

Dugan
😎

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