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25 Cents

Contributed by randyjohnson on Friday, 9th February 2018 @ 05:51:58 PM in AEST
Topic: HumorPoetry



I/'/ll tell you the reason why my neighbor/'/s head has a big dent.
I mowed his yard and cleaned his gutters and he paid me 25 cents.
When he handed me that quarter, I began to yell.
Before I slugged that jerk, I told him to go to hell.
He threw a punch at me but I ducked.
This man is a cheapskate, he really sucks.
I tied one end of a rope to my car/'/s rear bumper and the other end to his leg.
As I drove my car about seventy miles, he asked me to stop and he begged.
After dragging him with my vehicle, his butt had a big rash.
That/'/s what he got because he was too cheap to pay any cash.
When I told him that he/'/d get even worse, he stopped threatening to sue.
If you decide to hire me and pay me 25 cents, I/'/ll do the same things to you.




Copyright © randyjohnson ... [ 2018-02-09 17:51:58]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: 25 Cents (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 11th February 2018 @ 07:25:09 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
wait now, just a bit.
I was cleaning out my own gutters one day.
I even hated the fact that it had to be done,
But then I got into it so much I did hop onto
the roof of my neighbors and cleaned his
gutters too, in fact, I kind of went crazy
thinking I could clean all the gutters in all
the homes in my town. I lost who I was,
I became the cleaner of gutters, that/'/s truly
all I ever was.
Nobody ever paid me even a dime for that.
I did not want a dime. I just was traveling
from roof to roof cleaning all these clogged
cutters, trying to find where I belonged.
I was not a playwright, I was not John Cheever,
I was only cleaning gutters.
Why are you cleaning my gutters, why are
you on my roof. Are you insane.
No, no, you misunderstand, it is not summer
no more. Now it is the fall and the gutters
must be cleaned so the rain will not find
the path of least resistance and leak into
your ceilings I said. Get out, get out now
or we will call the police.
And the police finally came and took me away,
me in my jeans and wool sweater
And they impounded my aluminum ladder
And all my gutter nails that I carried in my bag.
You know, someone said, she left him earlier
that day. She left when all the leaves died
and changed their color, and I guess he just
went haywire.

Peace!


Re: 25 Cents (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 13th February 2018 @ 01:44:25 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Ha! Like the people that don/'/t support this site or its poets! 👎




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