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Array
(
[sid] => 184637
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Waking the Beast
[time] => 2017-11-18 13:17:04
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I was standing on my own just fine `til you came around and crossed that line and yeah it`s my fault I gave in to the rush but you know damn well you and I get so lush why would you kiss me then push me away? why did you kiss me if you weren`t gonna stay? you play it so cool but you give me those eyes you tell me you want me and it`s no surprise but you kissed me like it was no big deal eyed my heart like it was something to steal and I foolishly believed it was something so real now I`m grasping for handholds in the dirt feeling for safety and hushing the hurt climbing walls as they sink in the ground they`re falling faster than I can rebound and I`m damning myself for trying again thinking that beast would be sleeping just then I`m a fool to believe I could ever be free of the magnetic pull of dependency but you kissed me like it was our last chance you held me and it was pure romance but you just walked away when I asked you to dance so I take a deep breath and count to ten though I don`t understand how I`m to know when or how or if I can make this alright am I building a life or just biding my time? the ground under my feet starts to feel so strong but it crumbles so fast when I face it head-on nothing I want ever comes easily I wish sometimes I could live more peacefully this weight on my shoulders is heavy to bear the eyes I feel on me continue to stare this craving inside me is screaming for something not there [comments] => 1 [counter] => 51 [topic] => 61 [informant] => MoonlitAngel [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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