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Array
(
[sid] => 184560
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Shadows Of My Mind
[time] => 2017-10-11 18:12:22
[hometext] => Author: E. Wayne Searles
[bodytext] =>
In the shadows of my mind
are thoughts that won’t go away
They have been hidden for so long
I no longer want them there to stay
However, it is impossible
to shake them and set myself free
I only want to be normal
I want to again be me
Once I had innocents
I was a young boy full of pride
Now I am becoming an old man
with many thoughts in my head that want to hide
Broken down to the core
to be trained to kill when in need
The military breaks your innocents
and makes you a special breed
Civilian life as we call it
never again a life for me
No transitioning back
no way to set these memories free
Forgive me I ask
for the altered state In which I seem to be
For I am broken
and know not how to again be me
The road I walk is winding
many thoughts created along my path
The road nears its end
so I share my wrath
By
E. Wayne Searles
Army Combat Veteran
Written: 12 October 2017
Copyright © 2017 E. Wayne Searles. All Rights Reserved
[comments] => 3
[counter] => 77
[topic] => 43
[informant] => waynster
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => oops
)
The Shadows Of My Mind
Contributed by
waynster
on
Wednesday, 11th October 2017 @ 06:12:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
In the shadows of my mind
are thoughts that won’t go away
They have been hidden for so long
I no longer want them there to stay
However, it is impossible
to shake them and set myself free
I only want to be normal
I want to again be me
Once I had innocents
I was a young boy full of pride
Now I am becoming an old man
with many thoughts in my head that want to hide
Broken down to the core
to be trained to kill when in need
The military breaks your innocents
and makes you a special breed
Civilian life as we call it
never again a life for me
No transitioning back
no way to set these memories free
Forgive me I ask
for the altered state In which I seem to be
For I am broken
and know not how to again be me
The road I walk is winding
many thoughts created along my path
The road nears its end
so I share my wrath
By
E. Wayne Searles
Army Combat Veteran
Written: 12 October 2017
Copyright © 2017 E. Wayne Searles. All Rights Reserved
Copyright ©
waynster
... [
2017-10-11 18:12:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Shadows Of My Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Saturday, 14th October 2017 @ 04:41:50 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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My heart bleeds for you, dear person. Of all the poems I/'/ve read here, yours has touched me to the core, and I wish I could hug you tight and cry with you until a bit of the pain would lessen. Bless you, Wayne.
I was in the Marines...for one month. They quickly discerned I was not the zombie mold they were seeking. Thank god for that. I don/'/t think you were either. No way in hell, as evidence by your heart rending write. Man to man, I/'/m wrapping you in healthy energy.
Wayne, your actions DO NOT define you. Your THOUGHTS and what you you do TODAY is what defines you. Remember that. 618.320.
9490 |
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Re: The Shadows Of My Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 15th October 2017 @ 12:20:39 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
find peace, the inner peace
its in there inside too
the war only lets out what might
be inside all
likely is inside all
quagmires are like that
caught, stuck, you can repaint
but the peeling paint feels like
its still there
the wall, get away from the wall
talk it out with people who have been
where you have been
empathize with those
with anyone,
with you
in you is the heart of that kid
before he ever left
people need to know that
I believe it, because it is true
If you have seen it, and were around
the fear, and it shook you to the core
several times, seeing what you saw
you can/'/t go back and say you
never have, that much is impossible
that much you fully do know
but comprehend something else
more fully.
Your life matters, it always has.
I wish I could help.
Anyone on any side does
what is it, you are already dead...
nope,
I wish it was easy..
nope
people do not forget.
You are broken down but not
past saving /
nobody is.
write write write
sometimes about good
things, only good things
write about good things
you know
Do this, paint
Go to a painting class
I mean it, paint
with a group of people
who never painted a picture
prior
A new community where you count
be a part of this
You got to find a way to cope
that is not destructive
Say, the shadow/'/s always gonna be
there, since will, no two ways about that
man.
Yet, you will find a way out.
I think, you partly already have.
God bless - if there is a God.
I pray God blesses you each
day, and all the other Army solders too!
Peace!
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Re: The Shadows Of My Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Friday, 8th December 2017 @ 06:07:58 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I have been there. First this was a heart felt poem that spoke to me especially. Well done.
I have found it so easy to just be a hermit but have learned that in the end that is the worst thing you can do. It makes all the bad that much worse.
Get out and about and around other people and soon you will find you/'/re not alone and just knowing this eases your pain and you will be helping someone else at the same time. |
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