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Array
(
[sid] => 182249
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => the chasm inside
[time] => 2015-12-02 12:49:17
[hometext] => In the quiet moments, discoveries are found.~VeraFarmiga
[bodytext] => un-lonely sound
watching the sky
throw down snow
the many sounds
of quiet
bigger than me
deep in my bones
my own bright
dead thoughts
winter hush
with so much
to remember and swallow
the heart-beat
slows
the ice forms
the leftover pills
in the drawer
the soft blankets
artfully abandoned
journals whisper in use
of disorderly thoughts
gone silent again
down in the dark
watching from the bottom
what is left of me
to become
where to keep it
coal-hard knot
buried between
almost dreams
flutter the wind-blown chill
glaze fractured
window reflections
the weather the soft
breath the abyss
the still moment
a cruel season
of vacancy
waiting in the hollow
the plan is the church bells
and the lost crow
calling me back.
[comments] => 6
[counter] => 393
[topic] => 73
[informant] => ming
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => abstract
)
the chasm inside
Contributed by
ming
on
Wednesday, 2nd December 2015 @ 12:49:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
un-lonely sound
watching the sky
throw down snow
the many sounds
of quiet
bigger than me
deep in my bones
my own bright
dead thoughts
winter hush
with so much
to remember and swallow
the heart-beat
slows
the ice forms
the leftover pills
in the drawer
the soft blankets
artfully abandoned
journals whisper in use
of disorderly thoughts
gone silent again
down in the dark
watching from the bottom
what is left of me
to become
where to keep it
coal-hard knot
buried between
almost dreams
flutter the wind-blown chill
glaze fractured
window reflections
the weather the soft
breath the abyss
the still moment
a cruel season
of vacancy
waiting in the hollow
the plan is the church bells
and the lost crow
calling me back.
Copyright ©
ming
... [
2015-12-02 12:49:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the chasm inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Thursday, 3rd December 2015 @ 11:46:32 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
The entirety of my comment, or rather series thereof, would be extensive. Should you care to hear them, I'll be glad to share it with you via pm. But should you not, then clearly I won't, as this may or may not be your avenue of expression, but I hope you would like to hear. Be prepared for a read as a warning.
As for a summarizational comment, I will say this: Strangely in my recent events and time unfolding, I've found myself slumped and lost in a chasm of darkness, but I had no capability to find myself a source of light to enjoy myself. I could for moments, but moments don't make a life, they only shape it. With this, I was confused, but that confusion turned into an incredible short story in an incredibly shorter and compressed format, which actually alleviated some of my depression, and so for that I Have to thank you, and say that there is such beauty here in what you've written. :) |
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Re: the chasm inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Thursday, 3rd December 2015 @ 08:11:22 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is like a lovely painting of emotions with snippets of visions to thread them together. Like a puzzle you offer up pieces of thoughts, strung together with both images and feelings. It is like dreaming through a prism of colors and fractured slivers of reality trying too hard to focus on etherial musings. " A cruel season of vacancy, waiting in the hollow", brings us as close to focus as you will allow.
If we stop struggling to see the whole, the parts are incredibly delicious! The beauty of your writing is the generosity with which you tempt your readers to infuse themselves and their own experiences onto your canvas. You do not dictate, your suggest! I admire your skill.
softerware |
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Re: the chasm inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Friday, 4th December 2015 @ 10:28:24 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I like this style of writing and when I go there very few respond. They don't take the time to decipher the messages. I did and it was brilliant.
Loved it.
Best
James |
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Re: the chasm inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by kmec1990 on
Saturday, 5th December 2015 @ 10:35:19 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Beautiful, I love the flow and I admire your skill.
Kris |
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Re: the chasm inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Saturday, 5th December 2015 @ 01:06:40 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Sublime. However, all of your poems are, so I can offer no greatest praise than that I've given many times before.
Invierno |
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Re: the chasm inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by northernlights on
Tuesday, 15th December 2015 @ 12:38:44 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| That amazing soul catching silence of winter where everything is beautiful and yet life has become so harsh. Captivating and cruel, strangely in the chasm there is comfort and pain captured beautifully in your carefully chosen words. |
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