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Array ( [sid] => 182041 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => something akin to vertigo [time] => 2015-10-30 15:44:10 [hometext] => Your depression is connected to your insolence and refusal to praise. ~Rumi [bodytext] => I really hope
it's a metaphor

the sky feels
too big

it feels heavy
like failure

wasting words
storing them up

honey-combed and
composed as separate

mysteries that echo
with an under-poem

rattles my rib cage &
locks down my heart.

[comments] => 4 [counter] => 210 [topic] => 73 [informant] => ming [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => abstract )

something akin to vertigo

Contributed by ming on Friday, 30th October 2015 @ 03:44:10 PM in AEST
Topic: abstract

I really hope
it's a metaphor

the sky feels
too big

it feels heavy
like failure

wasting words
storing them up

honey-combed and
composed as separate

mysteries that echo
with an under-poem

rattles my rib cage &
locks down my heart.

Copyright © ming ... [ 2015-10-30 15:44:10]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: something akin to vertigo (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 31st October 2015 @ 09:11:00 AM AEST
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What metaphor? What is the metaphor? My sky often feels the same, and this metaphor works. All stored up words are wasted, why store them? Stored as honey? Too sweet? But mysteries that echo an under-poem smack of paranoia. Tighten up your ribs and grasp the key. Loved this work of yours.

Re: something akin to vertigo (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Sunday, 1st November 2015 @ 05:37:16 PM AEST
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Very nice

Michelle

Re: something akin to vertigo (User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on Sunday, 1st November 2015 @ 06:07:14 PM AEST
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Perfect. I should have surmised you would be a Rumi fan. I have tons of Roomy for Rumi and once spent three weeks contemplating one stanza.....such is his genius.

I imagine you enjoy Rimbaud as well.

You are a treasure, Ming. If only they could name a dynasty after you.

Invierno

Re: something akin to vertigo (User Rating: 1 )
by legato29 on Sunday, 1st November 2015 @ 07:07:16 PM AEST
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The feeling that this poem gives me is incredibly real and powerful. This is the exact same feeling I get when I face failures. Oh man now I have to shake it off. But beautifully written!

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