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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 13:17:22 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 181935
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Have you tried our mobile app?
[time] => 2015-10-10 22:17:43
[hometext] => Service with a sneer…
[bodytext] => The website clearly said to me; We're user friendly as can be! "Join! Login! Sign up! It’s free! Don’t wait! Try now! Download! You’ll see! It’s Fast and Easy! Saves you time!" 3 hours on hold led me to find; That service is a loop that sends; You right back to the start again. And should you reach a human type; Prepare yourself for scripted hype. "We are just a click away! Here to help you every day! Our response time simply rocks;' (Ask their programmed answer box)! Before you call us read our FAQs"; (200 pages, answers that; Are meant to stop us in our tracks; Turn us round and send us back)! "Call our number- wait toll free"; We’ll play commercials endlessly! To route you where you need to go; There are a few things they must know! Like what’s your mother’s maiden name? Is your social still the same? Do you own or rent and why? Then the disconnect …goodbye! --------------------------------------------------------------- This morning they returned my call; (At 3 AM from South Napal). I pinched my nose, and read them thus: “Welcome to the House of Us. To speak to me press 17; For my wife, press BEAUTY QUEEN Pressing WOOF will get our dog; He prefers you use our blog. We are having long wait times: Press the star for nursery rhymes. Our menu’s changed; press three for “Really?” Four connects you in Swahili. All donations press two -three: We gladly take your charity. Please make note if taking surveys; We have no opinions Thursdays. Returning calls is our delight; What time will you be home tonight? To hear our menu one more time; please deposit your last dime. You missed our sign--we're closed for fun. Stand by, connecting 9-1-1. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 141 [topic] => 7 [informant] => softerware [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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