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Array
(
[sid] => 181811
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => First Things First
[time] => 2015-09-18 11:15:09
[hometext] => Ego.
[bodytext] => I was always paying for something
In some way or another
Equally child frozen in time,
And instant adult,
Or caregiver.
Sometimes;
Often,
Simply, forgotten.
Left out of the plan.
Forced to fend for myself
With feeble, childlike naivety.
The early years, mainly a blur
One might say; but for the grace of God.
A slogan of recognition, if you will
Those years, eventually catch up
And hunt you down in your unsuspecting sleep
Taking residence in that last safe place
And the walls, come crashing down,
Reality distorts itself, and panic ensues,
The rabid fight for survival is immediate,
And feral in nature.
I am not there; you cannot convince me,
I am somewhere far away, long, long ago
Reliving some horror I have yet to realize
But it is there. Pacing.
Salivating.
Ready to pounce when I drop my guard.
My shift never ends; ever vigilant,
But sleep eventually claims me
For a short while
And my innocence is stripped once more.
A fresh wound gouged with knife
Fear and confusion, and a scream,
That won't release itself
Forever imprisoned behind a wall of pain
A velvet curtain of shame,
Trapped.
Like the swirling thoughts
Squirrelly doses of a past buried in haste
My inability to deal with change
Becomes a saving grace.
[comments] => 10
[counter] => 745
[topic] => 31
[informant] => hauntedscorp
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 0
[associated] =>
[topicname] => StoryPoetry
)
First Things First
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Friday, 18th September 2015 @ 11:15:09 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
I was always paying for something
In some way or another
Equally child frozen in time,
And instant adult,
Or caregiver.
Sometimes;
Often,
Simply, forgotten.
Left out of the plan.
Forced to fend for myself
With feeble, childlike naivety.
The early years, mainly a blur
One might say; but for the grace of God.
A slogan of recognition, if you will
Those years, eventually catch up
And hunt you down in your unsuspecting sleep
Taking residence in that last safe place
And the walls, come crashing down,
Reality distorts itself, and panic ensues,
The rabid fight for survival is immediate,
And feral in nature.
I am not there; you cannot convince me,
I am somewhere far away, long, long ago
Reliving some horror I have yet to realize
But it is there. Pacing.
Salivating.
Ready to pounce when I drop my guard.
My shift never ends; ever vigilant,
But sleep eventually claims me
For a short while
And my innocence is stripped once more.
A fresh wound gouged with knife
Fear and confusion, and a scream,
That won't release itself
Forever imprisoned behind a wall of pain
A velvet curtain of shame,
Trapped.
Like the swirling thoughts
Squirrelly doses of a past buried in haste
My inability to deal with change
Becomes a saving grace.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2015-09-18 11:15:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: First Things First
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 18th September 2015 @ 01:01:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Different from most of your poetic verses, yet just as powerful.
To me, it read like a dream...a nightmare in parts and thinking of that ol' saying, "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger."
Very emotional.
*hug*
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Re: First Things First
(User Rating: 1 )
by ming on
Friday, 18th September 2015 @ 02:34:49 PM AEST
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Dream-like and a past life remembrance seem to mesh in this write. Good one!
ming |
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Re: First Things First
(User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on
Saturday, 19th September 2015 @ 01:58:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
My heart is broken by your memories.
Yesterdays haunt us all. Yet the past can never be righted; only forgiven. Struggling with it breathes life into it again and again, and the outcome never changes.
Your poem is a call to an end. The struggle is peaking.
There is no going back; no knowing why. "Squirrelly doses of a past buried in haste".No one to hold accountable.
We are all victims of our past. But it is we who make ourselves victims of the present.
-----------------------------------------------------------
You are the parent now. Rescue your child from this nightmare, as you would from a burning building, and bestow upon them the fierce and protective love and acceptance that these nightmares cry for. Open your heart and let no further harm come to the innocent within.
softerware |
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Re: First Things First
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 19th September 2015 @ 07:27:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Often your poetry is screamed from the battlements of intrinsic defence, but not here; the drawbridge is firmly down. Not, may I add, to admit the enemy, but reinforcements: empathizers. Straight-from-the-gut poetry that is impressive to say the least.
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Re: First Things First
(User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on
Saturday, 19th September 2015 @ 06:21:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
"Ready to pounce when I drop my guard.
My shift never ends"
What a great line! So true.
I really like this poem, but, my friend, I think (you know what they say about opinions, so don't take offence), with a gem like this, it's worth your time to sidle up to the editing table and caress this dear as it deserves and I know you to be capable of.
With admiration,
Invierno |
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Re: First Things First
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Sunday, 20th September 2015 @ 05:20:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| This hits close to home for me, in the wake of tough decisions and a past that I often relive as a nightmare. |
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Re: First Things First
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Friday, 16th October 2015 @ 06:51:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I knew before I even started to read this that I would feel it's impact straightaway.
There is always some force in your work that hits you squarely between the eyes and makes you sit up and take notice.
To try and pick out a favourite line is impossible, they all came at me like spitting bullets.
Great work again
Steve |
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Re: First Things First
(User Rating: 1 )
by xHeathenx on
Thursday, 22nd October 2015 @ 05:36:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I picture a very artistic video.
Different camera angles capturing the speaking and telling of this poem.
Thunderous drums bang at the end of many lines, matching the emotion.
This is not a poem of story or image to me, but a poem of pure emotion. I like it. :) |
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Re: First Things First
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 1st November 2015 @ 11:46:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i absolutely adore this write! you have tapped into such a
creative realm of depth, it is a masterpiece of perfection,
...things do 'lurk' and we as writers of poetry have a unique
perspective others do not, thank you for sharing such a
precious treasure:)
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->-- |
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Re: First Things First
(User Rating: 1 )
by Breezy on
Sunday, 7th February 2016 @ 09:08:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Fine writing, fellow Scorpy. DAMN fine!
I love the feel of this ....the flow ....the incarnation it seems to have orchestrated
and yet ... there is something inherently frightening in here as well. Like it
should be taken with a side of caution and trepidation. Whatever emotion
swarms my being as I read it, I know one thing is certain! This is living poetry.
And brilliant at that.
Missed these so flipping much.
~ B
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