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Array
(
[sid] => 181576
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Great Fall
[time] => 2015-08-15 01:52:53
[hometext] => Trying to sort the madness out while keeping close what is dear
[bodytext] => To face the demons, I have in my past Means I get to "grow", and maybe just last Although it is hard, because I am losing it all I guess I had it coming, I call it "The Great Fall" Everything in my life, has lead straight up to this Remembering her, I can still taste her last kiss For it represents, that I once had true love But because of my non actions, it's now disposed of Much like all my relationships, with all that were close I've always pushed them out, I never cared about me the most But now I can see, that it's not all my fault I have dug up some answers, that led to the Fall It goes way back, before I was Thirteen I had never knew, about any of these things I didn't know then, that it would haunt my life I didn't know then it, would lose my wife But more importantly, I have a broken soul And at the same time, I have an even more important role For I am a Father of five beautiful boys And I have to be around to build all their toys So the easy way out, is not an option no more I HAVE to find a way, get myself up off of this floor And as hard as it is, to let go what I love most It has to be worth it, in order to save my ghost Because its not their fault, that I never learned To deal with my issues, to continue to burn They didn't tell me to be sad, all of my life They didn't tell me not to deal, with all of my strife I have to start a strong foundation, where I can get right So I may have a better chance, of being in thier life Not that I haven't been there, EVERY step EVERY day But now I can see, that it HAS to be in a healthy way Professional help i'm seeking, support groups all around There is no where I can hide, where I cannot be found This is my one shot to be honest with with it all And then just maybe it doesn't end, only as "The Great Fall" Depression has sunk in, as I tuck my boys in tight Knowing in a few weeks, I will have to leave their life I'll see them all the time, just not like it was before A broken home and separation is what they have in store So i guess I better hurry, and get my ass in gear For it would just be great, if this didn't last a year Although I need to take my time, learn to see things clear I just love those boys so much, losing them forever is my biggest fear At the end of everything, I don't think I have what it takes To relive all my past... it was a lot of mistakes But I guess i owe it to myself, I owe it for it all Thats why what I'm going through, I call... "The Great Fall" [comments] => 0 [counter] => 202 [topic] => 48 [informant] => blknwht [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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