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Array
(
[sid] => 181078
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Honest
[time] => 2015-05-01 00:52:07
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => You were charming Rebellious Attractive Within you I saw greatness But it was like pulling teeth You tell me your worst habits were given up for me I tried to be honest from the start, I was no golden star That I did not try to hide Somewhere along the way our road got muddied Black and white, right and wrong Turned into a washed out grey Struggle enters all relationships How you move past it and work through it determines your future Well I guess we needed to work harder Looking back I see it all so clearly Slowly falling out of love Running out of care Hammered into me were your reactions The tortured thought of losing you Once I felt I had to hide, had to lie All our progress got washed away Once you start lying there's no going back There is no changing it I lied to my family, my friends I lied to myself and I lied to you What killed me the most Was betraying who I am Deep down I've found my honesty And I'm bursting at the seams The elephant in the room is me Disinterested and reluctant Comfort shouldn't stand in the way of happiness But I'm letting it for now I once had hope that we could be great together again And I thought I tried, but I saw no positive reinforcement This isn't a one person show show; I don't want to be the fool I'm done trying, done pleasing I care for you deeply, but I am no longer in love with you And I don't know if I ever was I think that I tried to convince myself of it But it wasn't genuine I have been questioning myself now I lost who I was and I don't like who I have become My lack of care and tact has left me hollow My heart feels hardened, angry I find myself grasping at becoming numb But my hands are shaking And my mind feels as though it's collapsing in on itself There's an eerie sense of sorrow But I don't think that it's for you [comments] => 2 [counter] => 273 [topic] => 61 [informant] => the_unknown [notes] => Edited per site help request ~ Moderator_18 May 1, 2015 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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